I Should Have Known Better But Got Distracted. A humorous, true and uninspiring story of what can go wrong when you least 'inspect' it.
https://t.co/lRSCuxIb1H via @jaymo7951
How do you say "goodbye" to an abusive person you are actively in a relationship with? I need to know what to say to X because X and its shitty algorithm is currently like being in an abusive relationship and I'm tired of it.
@Donutsandwich1 Look, I'm retarded so, the last thing I need is for this world to start throwing more retarded shit at me like it's going to cancel out my retard. Nah, that's not how it works. It actually makes me exponentially more retarded.
@catturd2 Twice a year my wife asks me to explain how the time change will effect her the next day, "So tomorrow, the time will be one hour different than what the time is now? So if I have an 8 o' clock appointment and I don't change my clocks am I going to be early or late?"
Me: "Yes!"
@KylerofthePNW I love the dramatic change in daylight, both in fall and spring but fuck! I have 30 clocks in my house, I run around and set them ALL for the same time so they're ALL a minute off from each other and there's a thirty minute time change from one side of my house to the other π
@FoxNews π€ pretty sure he indicated that by the end of this year Americans won't need a visa to go to Cuba. Cuba's high command is living in a bunker starting yesterday.
Hey guys! I did my own taxes last night and I realized:
1) Trump is the greatest President of all time!
OR
2) I'm going to prison
OR, OR
3) Very likely, BOTH
If this is the last you hear from me, I'll be busy picking soap up off the shower floor.