Jordan Slocum

presh to death. not about the leisurely stroll.

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

Why does every Trader Joe’s parking lot want to kill you?

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

Blessings to the real friends 🙏

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

@supermoongirl9 Omg yes and they also need a fake friend bc they don’t have any!! Lol

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

Both teams giving up a bases-loaded in this moment is wild

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

Crazy good ninth inning wow

[Robby Roadsteamer @RobbyRoadsteame]

Another angle of the ICE Agents arresting me for singing in Portland Oregon!

🎥 By Alex Gonzo

RT so Elon has to pay me TWITTER AD revenue money for Lawyers 💖🌈

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

I’m almost positive that there was an urban outfitters sweatshop right upstairs from one of my apartments

[latke @latkedelrey]

the thing i love about upstairs neighbor noise is that sometimes you cannot even guess what they’re doing. had an upstairs neighbor that would make a sound that i could only describe as a bowling ball hitting the ground and rolling across the wood floor every single night

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

Lmfao just catching up now, but Cuomo thinks this will work????? ??

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

Sparkle Megan talking about numerology helping her pick a house to buy is so funny to me because when my parents bought their first house, our town changed their street name and house number 3 times within the first three years they lived there lol

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

Wait Taylor’s firing SHOTS here!! 🩵🧡

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

Not me thinking this was Tilly for a sec 😭😭😭

[Digger Zachwell @zmullis]

The custom bedazzled Ocean Gate submersible purse is crazy

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

Convinced my bf that EGOTS are now LEGOTS bc las culturistas

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

“Sir, a third eero box has hit the pentagon”

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

Honored to have just found out that my boyfriend has named by boobs Patsy Cline and Loretta Lynn lol

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

I am a sea squirt and my bf is a rock 💯

[keithulhu 𓅃 @elektromorr]

this must feel so good

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

@KristinRaworth I promise being the person working the register is worse 😭😭😭 lol

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

Damn the chiefs are eating sh*t lol

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

@AskTSA if I remove the ratchet from this set, can the rest go in my carry on?

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

Am I the only one who doesn’t know who Zachary Levi is

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

@heyytherequinn It is but even before I hated them!! I swear I’ve never had a crispy one lol they were always soggy

[Jordan Slocum @jaysloak]

The WORST fries and no one can convince me otherwise

[Joe @JoePostingg]

I hate these batter coated fries, the fact that they've become the default for mom and pop takeout joints is such a travesty.