Chaos Jaysomancy

Paranoid-critical activism & ‘pataphysical colour commentary, the evolution of the Anomalies Rarities & Miracles, Poleshots & Wallbouncers, ADVANCED DETERRENCE

[Chaos Jaysomancy @jaysomancy]

Chaos Jaysomancy
‘𝘚𝘰 𝘓𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘬𝘰𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘦𝘸 𝘞𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴!’
April 25, 2026
pre-covid SkyDome infield dirt on centre cross of 𝘐𝘊𝘌𝘔𝘈𝘕 parking lot (Dundas & Bond)
$ √-1

[James de Llis @meta_nomad]

RIP to Peter Carroll, one of the (post)modern occult OGs.

[Chaos Jaysomancy @jaysomancy]

Elite Closer #59
vs
JAYS rookie #59

(B-V = 2-22 ain’t bad either!)

[Blue Jays Nation @thejaysnation]

BRANDON VALENZUELA WALKS OFF THE PHILLIES!

🎥: Sportsnet | #BlueJays50

[Chaos Jaysomancy @jaysomancy]

Baseball heads know that the world’s most accurate ballthrowers routinely fuck up when they’re suddenly forced to throw to first instead of home, right away.
This guy had every reason to assume there was zero chance the runner would go, so his throw would be drenched in surprise.

[swilly ☻ @swillysports]

what else can you do besides audibly laugh out loud

[MLB @MLB]

Vladdy and the dugout cam have a mutual understanding 🫡

[Chaos Jaysomancy @jaysomancy]

tfw your team’s fanbase is calling for your head and then a number-cruncher announces that you’re the unluckiest pitcher of the century

Excuse Ex Machina

[FanGraphs Baseball @fangraphs]

Jeff Hoffman and the Worst BABIP of All Time https://t.co/HGgTEtra27

[Ryan @The_Ryan_Shull]

That time Stephen Piscotty got hit by…

▫️ Jake Arrieta
▫️ Willson Contreras
▫️ Javier Baez

all in the span of 5 minutes.

[jannel #7 ⚾️ 23/33 @jnnl36]

ernie almost smoked this guy 😭 #BlueJays50

[Chaos Jaysomancy @jaysomancy]

2017, July 27-30: Steve “Mr Jackpots” Pearce hits two Walkoff Grand Slams in 4 days;

2026, May 12: Pascal tells Colbert a Twin Peaks story;

May 13 (Colbert’s birthday): 1st JAYS WGS since Pearce;

May 14: Drake says “Twin Peaks” just before the ICEMAN truck enters the JAYS door

[Chaos Jaysomancy @jaysomancy]

JAYS front office have won so many trades & made so many unexpectedly wise signings, it’s actually ridiculous.

[AT @BaseballWRLD_]

At the 2025 trade deadline, the Padres traded away Brandon Valenzuela for Will Wagner, while also trading for Freddy Fermin to be their starting catcher

Valenzuela has blossomed into one of the best catchers in baseball so far this year. Freddy Fermin, also, has played baseball.

[Chaos Jaysomancy @jaysomancy]

WAR

[Chaos Jaysomancy @jaysomancy]

LV (=55) #77 in 26 - 0.27 in 26
BobV“BJ”R #52 in 06 - 0.55
CJ #44 in 2007 - 0.97
Tom Henke #50 in 87 - 1.00

87-07, 06-26
2 20y intervals w 1y overlapping hinge
= 39y = 2 x 19.5y

Ryan wore 52; ERA 2 5s
Varland wears 2 7s; ERA .27
(after 33.333 innings w 1 ER)

[Sportsnet Stats @SNstats]

Lowest ERA in First 30 Games of a Season in Blue Jays History:

Louis Varland (2026) - 0.27
B.J. Ryan (2006) - 0.55
Casey Janssen (2007) - 0.97
Tom Henke (1987) - 1.00

#BlueJays50

[Chaos Jaysomancy @jaysomancy]

33.3333333333333333333…

[Codify @CodifyBaseball]

Louis Varland has now pitched 33⅓ innings this season and only allowed 1 earned run. It sounds crazy but it's true.

[Sportsnet @Sportsnet]

"It was extremely special. Like a little god wink. Just tons of emotions. Overall, just an amazing experience."

Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Chad Dallas shares how special it was to learn on Lou Gehrig Day that he'd be making his MLB debut after losing his father to ALS in 2025.

[MLB @MLB]

Chad Dallas makes a nice behind-the-back snag to strand runners at the corners in his Major League debut!

[Chaos Jaysomancy @jaysomancy]

Grampa?

[MLB @MLB]

The @WhiteSox pulled off an EXTREMELY rare play last night 😯

There haven't been two 3-6 putouts on the same play since June 26, 1972!

[Chaos Jaysomancy @jaysomancy]

I love that LV = 55
(J+A+Y+S = 10+1+25+19 = 55)

I predict his ERA will get all the way down to .19… or at least .25 (25 = 5x5)

[SleeperMLB @SleeperMLB]

Louis Varland is quietly having one of the best reliever seasons EVER

31 innings
42 K
0.29 ERA

HIS ERA+ is 1509❗️❗️❗️

[David Singh @ByDavidSingh]

Charles McAdoo is apparently a huge Star Wars fan. When he joined the Blue Jays and had to sign his contract, John Schneider handed him a pen. McAdoo declined it and pulled out a Lightsaber pen.

His first MLB homer yesterday came on Star Wars night at Camden Yards.

[Chaos Jaysomancy @jaysomancy]

Giving out a blood shirt on the full moon 🫡 🔥

[Chaos Jaysomancy @jaysomancy]

@TalkinBaseball_ @CDeNicola13 It’s never a good idea to make a guy like me yell BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO where you can hear it!

Not that I’d ever wish injury on anyone; on the contrary, charging shields to protect pitchers from comebackers is one of my Prime Directives.

But still: don’t do malice in my face!

[Just Baseball @JustBB_Media]

Only 2 pitchers this season have thrown at least 30 innings and still haven’t allowed a home run:

🇨🇦 Trey Yesavage
🇨🇦 Louis Varland

These two are DOMINATING for Toronto!