JB Fulcher

menner of fish. try to be writer.

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

I keep being nice to pregnant women, talking to them about their problems, but then they don't give me their babies. :(
#friendzone

[remand chic @our_jesse]

You don’t see dogs legging it out of a butchers with a string of sausages anymore. Just another thing woke has taken from us

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

@JulysaSosa Not for real, but just to show support. It's a Lactaid Christmas Special!

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

Im keeping this

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

hhbyhhbygyĺĺlĺĺĺĺĺuĺuyĺĺĺuhĺĺĺĺĺuLLPllgluĺyguyLLPpLLPlppplpopplpyLLPpLLPlpplpoppyuilopopq

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

@JulysaSosa NO. UNACCEPTABLE. I got back on twitter as soon as I saw this

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

people talk like t shirts on here

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

Mom, "I saw on TV that Sheldon' s friend died."
"..what?"
"That scientist that was on the Big Bang Theory."
"...do you mean Stephen Hawking?"
She did.

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

Reports of my life are greatly exaggerated.

[Adam Sass @TheAdamSass]

Me: Murder She Wrote is the most realistic show about writing.
You: LOL she's never writing.
Me: It's the most realistic show about writing.

[Kayfabe News @KayfabeNews]

Meanwhile, on the indies….

[Ric Flair® @RicFlairNatrBoy]

🐐

[Nnedi Okorafor, PhD🕷️ @Nnedi]

My novel WHO FEARS DEATH has been optioned by @HBO & is now in early development as a TV series with George RR Martin as executive producer.

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

#soullesseyes

[Kermit the Frog @KermitTheFrog]

What motivated me to leave the swamp? One day I was sitting on the log and realized it was an alligator. I never looked back.

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

Found it.

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

I'm gonna find some science today.

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

Swing for sale. Open to interesting trades. https://t.co/CDWbIeEbur

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

Hidey hidey hidey hi. https://t.co/977CGT0k1a

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

HI. I don't tweet anymore but tonight I caught a spider with my bare hands while listening to "It's Raining Men." Unpack that, America.

[JB Fulcher @jb_fulcher]

the weather girls are my favorite kaiju