Petty_Wap

Your future ex wife is a Texan.

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

This is legit, the best text I’ve ever gotten. I ghosted and months later he hits me with this.

[Taco @ThatDudeTaco]

Everything we know about Luigi Mangione

A thread:

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

@HumansNoContext Omfg why do I feel like I know everyone that fits this description man and woman.
San Antonio problems

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

@SUICIDEBOYS ready to pop my old man’s cherry to true music for fuckin once. Can’t wait to see you here in the DFW

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

Also knowing that he’s never done actual drugs is even more hilarious thinking he relates in some way is more of a dissociated joke somehow

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

What does it mean when you’re almost 40 year old bf barely discovers @SUICIDEBOYS because he listened to the @TheoVon podcast and thought they sound like “cool dudes”..when you’ve known about them since they came out. I feel like this is an uno reverse card for Austin dudes.

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

Anytime someone asks me how I’m doing, I legitimately can’t stop myself from responding with “not well bitch”. Curtesy of @DorindaMedley and genuinely not being fuckin well

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

Smelling salts are the millennials closest coke pre fentanyl days.

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

MAC must be down hard with how many influencers they have pushing their products right now. What fuckin year is it?

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

I have to face the facts that I’m only funny when I’m under the influence of quite literally anything but sobriety or love cause wow. I shoulda been the female Pete Davdidson of standup and used my dads death as a gateway to SNL

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

@ITSFASTRONALD It’s what everyone would have wanted.
I did my pops like 20 year old blow from his little plastic bullet I found in the house right before his funeral so we all even bitch

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

@ClassicRedd Imma vomit

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

Mini coopers are the Crocs of the car world and Smart cars are the Temu brand crocs of the car world.
Do with that information as you will. But there’s Matt Damon…and then there’s MATT DAAAMONNN ya know?

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

Currently cross checking what it is and means to be gaslight cause I’m pretty sure I am but don’t want to think I am..but that’s also what that makes you feel sooo…

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

Also had a weird ass dream about some unidentified fuckin tick type species, and then it rolled into me finding a ton of really cute fluffy tarantulas, which then ended with a sex dream of me and another unidentified man, that was my sub. Happy Friday

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

Where’s my rich husband who will invest in any and all of my hyper fixations?? Currently I need a vintage espresso maker. Thanks.

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

If you love me you’ll buy me prints from my favorite artists.
Also, if you love me and we’re in a relationship and you can’t name you’re favorite artist(s), not musically, we have a problem.

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

Some of you weirdos in my dms wanna reach out and play “daddy wanna save you”…send me some fuckin money for a greenhouse. Thanks.

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

At least I made basically best friends with a fuckin praying mantis. Whom I call SPOCK.
Everyone. Meet my insect baby.

[Petty_Wap @jbunaye]

Cry for help from a woman who is overextended herself beyond belief and needs to just be “kidnapped”. I know I haven’t responded to texts cause I just “can’t”.
Mostly my premenstrual situation is making me even more annoyed but fuck me. I’m over gardening and working 24/7

[Meech @MediumSizeMeech]

Donald Trump you will NEVER be her!!!!!