Friartowns Finest

🕯️

[Friartowns Finest @jcill12]

#pcbb

[Riley @Ri_S_OB]

Treating Paraguay like a week 11 SEC matchup

[moneyfetishist @moneyfetishist]

5:00 PM

I start writing a post. Takes me 2 hours. People think I shitpost. Every post is a structure. The opening is the hook. The middle is the thesis. The escalation is engagement architecture. The closing is a call to action disguised as contempt. I rewrite the first sentence 9 times because the first sentence determines whether someone stops scrolling and if they don't stop scrolling then the other 4,000 words don't exist. The apparent chaos is the structure. This is also true of the Ottoman Empire

7:00 PM

I have a date. I'm cooking because restaurants are a 400% markup on applied heat and I refuse to let a 22 year old line cook control the quality of my evening. Vertical integration starts at home. I make a steak. 55 degrees internal. Probe thermometer. I do not gamble with protein especially when there's a woman involved

7:45 PM

She arrives. She works in marketing. I speak in EBITDA. She speaks in brand awareness. I have told myself I will not mention the Ottoman Empire tonight. I will not mention Luxembourg. I will not explain what a PropCo is. I will be a normal person

8:00 PM

She asks what I've been working on. I say just some deals nothing exciting. She asks what kind. I say infrastructure. She says that sounds interesting. I say it involves water. She asks if I mean like water bottles. I explain that I am acquiring 35 year monopoly concession rights on municipal water distribution networks in fiscally distressed Southern European municipalities financed through the European Investment Bank at 1.8% structured through a Luxembourg SCSp benefiting from the participation exemption on distributions

She is looking at me and I can tell I have made an error. She asks me to explain it simply and I tell her cities in Southern Europe are broke. Their pipes are from the 1960s. Half the water leaks into the ground. They let private companies come fix the pipes and in exchange you get to charge everyone for water for 35 years. Legal monopoly. Revenue goes up with inflation. Debt at 1.8%. She asks if I'm saying I'm buying a city's water and I tell her I'm buying the right to operate a city's water and she tells me that's the most unhinged thing anyone has ever told her on a date

8:30 PM

we are on the topic of the Ottoman Empire because I physically cannot help myself. I am explaining iltizam and she is nodding in a way that could mean interest or could mean she has decided compliance is the safest exit strategy. She asks me if I ever think about anything that isn't money or structures or dead empires and I think about this for too long and she notices

I tell her about Pacioli inventing double entry bookkeeping and funding the Renaissance. I tell her about McLean standardizing a shipping container and reducing costs by 97%. I tell her these people all saw the same thing which is that value is in the system that organizes the activity not in the activity itself. She tells me I am genuinely insane. I tell her that's what my CPA says too but he charges €2,200 an hour for the observation

9:00 PM

she's leaving. it's a Tuesday and she has a job and I think I described too many financial structures during what was supposed to be a casual dinner. she said she learned a lot which is either a compliment or the politest way anyone has ever said they will not be returning

she texted 20 minutes later and said she googled the Luxembourg participation exemption and what the fuck. so now she knows about the participation exemption. another person radicalized

9:30 PM

I read for an hour. Luca Pacioli. double entry bookkeeping. 1494. Before Pacioli people could not tell if they were making money or losing money. they were just vibing. Cash in. Cash out. Hope for the best. the entire Renaissance was funded by an accounting innovation. that man did more for civilization than every AI caption tool combined and he didn't have a personal brand. He had a ledger. The ledger was enough

Pacioli. McLean. The Ottomans. The water concession. All the same thing. Systems that organize activity. Containers for value. Cargo changes. Container principle doesn't. I feel the kind of calm I imagine monks feel except my meditation involves Luxembourg tax structures and theirs involves breathing. We are both seeking truth. My truth generates better returns

10:00 PM

Phone on do not disturb. Only portfolio monitoring alerts can reach me. A text is not a material change. Instagram is not a material change. A covenant breach on a €45M senior credit facility is a material change. If you want to reach me buy one of my portfolio companies and trigger a covenant. Otherwise morning

Her text about the participation exemption does not qualify as a material change. But I screenshot it tho

10:15 PM

Found out money never sleeps and took the bed out the house

I still have a bed. But I thought about it. Longer than a normal person would. I ran the numbers on what I could put in the square footage. A second desk. Filing cabinet for entity documents. Server rack. All would generate more value per square foot than sleeping. Sleep is a zero revenue activity occupying premium real estate and the only reason I haven't eliminated it is because my attorney said sleep deprivation can be used as evidence of diminished capacity in contract disputes

I get in bed. I close my eyes. I last about 90 seconds before my brain does the thing

10:18 PM

Mortgage comes from Old French. Mort gage. Death pledge. The French named the most common financial instrument in the world after death. You walk into a bank and sign a death pledge and the banker smiles and hands you a pen. 800 years ago the French looked at this transaction and decided the appropriate name is a promise that dies. The French were not fucking around

Company comes from com panis. To break bread together. Corporation comes from corpus. A body. The entire global economy runs on fictional dead French promises signed by fictional human bodies that eat bread together and everyone just accepts it

10:41 PM

I check my phone. She texted again. She wants to know if she could start a company in Luxembourg and route dividends tax free. This woman met me four hours ago. She is restructuring hypothetical corporate holdings. She is going to be at brunch on Saturday and someone will mention their business and she will think about the participation exemption and not say it but she'll think it and it's my fault

I respond with the substance requirements and ATAD II changes because apparently I can't have a normal text conversation. I add "this is not tax advice" because my attorney would want me to

She sends a voice note. I don't do voice notes. Voice notes are the communication equivalent of a variable rate loan. You don't know how long they'll last and you can't skim them. I make an exception. She's laughing about learning EU tax law at 11 PM from a guy she met on Hinge

11:02 PM

I am now lying in the dark designing a captive insurance program for the water concession. A captive is an insurance company you create to insure your own risks. Premiums are deductible. Captive invests the income. If no claims the cash accumulates offshore. It's a tax deductible savings account wearing an insurance costume. The concession has real risks. Pipe burst. Contamination. Service interruption. Captive in Bermuda. Premiums deductible against concession income. Another extraction layer on top of everything already flowing through the structure

I just added another entity to the 47 tab model. In my head. In bed. On a Tuesday. After a date

11:34 PM

The Venetians invented government bonds in the 1100s. Forced loans on wealthy citizens during wartime. Citizens didn't want to lend. Government didn't care. So the citizens said fine but we're trading the receipts. Secondary market formed. People who wanted cash sold their war receipts to people who wanted future income. That's it. That's the origin of the $130 trillion global bond market. A receipt for a forced loan traded between annoyed rich Venetians. 900 years later people have PhDs in it

I get out of bed. Open my laptop. Start writing. The Phoenicians invented the alphabet because they needed to track olive oil debts which means literature is a derivative of accounting. The Ottomans invented tax farming. Pacioli invented bookkeeping. McLean standardized a box. The Venetians got annoyed about war loans and accidentally created bonds. These are all containers. Alphabet is a container for language. Bookkeeping for economic reality. Shipping container for cargo. Holding structure for cash flows. Bond for debt. Concession for revenue rights. Different centuries. Same principle

I title the document Containers.doxc and write for 40 minutes without stopping

12:22 AM

I am aware that I have been awake for 20 hours and I have had a date where I explained Ottoman tax farming over steak and I am now writing a manifesto about how the Phoenician alphabet and modern concession acquisition are the same thing. I have not opened Instagram. I have not watched a show. I have not done a single thing that a normal person does at night. I have designed a Bermuda insurance company in the dark and traced the bond market to medieval Venice and texted a woman about ATAD II substance requirements. This is just a Tuesday

12:48 AM

Back in bed. My brain has moved on to the Tang Dynasty. The Chinese invented paper money in the 7th century and it only worked because they limited the number of shops authorized to issue notes. Controlled scarcity on an intrinsically worthless medium to create perceived value. Louis Vuitton is a Tang Dynasty money shop. LVMH's entire model was invented by Chinese monetary authorities 1,300 years before Bernard Arnault was born. I have no one to share this with at 12:48 AM

1:15 AM

I'm thinking about the date. I don't have a plan for evaluating dates. I have ideas for businesses, tax structures, CIM add backs, concession economics, and the structural parallels between Ottoman governance and modern infrastructure privatization. I do not have a clue on how to handle how to determining if a woman who googled the Luxembourg participation exemption at 11 PM wants to see me again. There are no add backs to remove. No EBITDA to normalize. Just a voice note and a text about Luxembourg and the fact that she stayed through the Ottoman section which honestly most people would not have

1:38 AM

The water concession needs an environmental impact assessment. The CIM needs a follow up in two weeks. The Successor still doesn't know what a PropCo is. The Bermuda captive needs an actuary. There's a document called Containers.md on my desktop. There's a woman who four hours ago thought Luxembourg was just a small country and now knows it's a tax jurisdiction. I wake up in 2 hours and 39 minutes

I will handle all of this tomorrow. Or today. The cycle doesn't care about the clock. Generate problems. Solve problems. Extract value. Accidentally teach women European tax law. Write manifestos connecting Phoenician olive oil accounting to modern infrastructure concessions. Lie in bed connecting Louis Vuitton to the Tang Dynasty. Wake up and do it again.

Some of yall set an alarm for 8 AM and spend the first 90 minutes of your day choosing an outfit and scrolling and drinking coffee that someone else made and then you sit down at a desk and open Canva and start working on your personal brand

And then you wonder why your life looks the way it does

I don't wonder

I already did the math

I might be mass autistic and mass schizo but the math still works so who cares

Simple as that

[Shams Charania @ShamsCharania]

Hall of Famer Kevin Garnett is reuniting with the Minnesota Timberwolves and the Lynx in a new, all-encompassing role involving business, community efforts and content development, sources told ESPN. His long-awaited No. 21 Wolves jersey retirement will also happen in Minnesota.

[Friartowns Finest @jcill12]

@BowTiedBroke Let’s get it!

[Friartowns Finest @jcill12]

Didn’t know I need to hike the Dolomites until today.

[The Brohioan @TheBrohioan]

A Sunday where I can enjoy myself and the Vikings can't hurt me.

[Pardon My Take @PardonMyTake]

J.J. McCarthy remembering how to play football

[Friartowns Finest @jcill12]

JJ McCarthy getting straight bullied

[Dov Kleiman @NFL_DovKleiman]

Who is stopping this offense?

QB: JJ McCarthy
RB: Aaron Jones
RB: Jordan Mason
WR: Justin Jefferson
WR: Jordan Addison
WR: Adam Thielen
WR: Jalen Nailor
TE: TJ Hockenson

🧐

[Spoonsfx @LeightonOlson2]

It’s Time To Show The World. ⏰

[Ramp Capital @RampCapitalLLC]

“You look happier”

Thanks, I bought a shit ton of $NVDA stock a decade ago.

[lavitalenta @lavitalenta]

Depressed because I’ve never played chess with the homies at the Széchenyi Thermal Baths in Budapest.

[Friartowns Finest @jcill12]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

[Shahbaz Khan @ShahbazMKhan]

THE MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES HAVE ELIMINATED THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS 4-1.

(🎥 via @RyanMSwanson)

[LA Clippers @LAClippers]

Friars.

[Sacramento Kings @SacramentoKings]

DEVIN CARTER OMG 😳🔥

[Friartowns Finest @jcill12]

@StockMKTNewz $137.83

[Bill Simmons @BillSimmons]

Historic run for Glen Taylor: 30 years, but only 2 seasons with a playoff series win. Plus, no NBA Finals appearances, a huge scandal (Joe Smith), a slew of truly horrible trades/signings/hirings, and in the end, he couldn’t even sell the T-Wolves correctly. He’ll be missed.

[Friartowns Finest @jcill12]

THE EMPIRE