Jasper

Writing, painting, creating and thinking in Newcastle. Commercial, political and cultural consultant. Opinions my own.

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

The Coalition polled 21% in Farrer. The Tories polled 20% in England. The fusionist right is dying everywhere. New piece on the only path back for the Liberals and why Hastie is the only one who can walk it.

#auspol #liberalparty #farrer

https://t.co/pdfIDwpfSr

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

@abumurtador Ramires

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

@_onlyscott Ipswich Town
Lazio
Roma
Norwich City

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

@RealAlexJones ok so this is the line the CIA told you to run with? Ok..

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

@_onlyscott Netherlands

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

@acapulco_denver I've been pulling out the old Vince Sorrenti joke this week around the house.

'You know why they call them Sharks, it's because when you see one you don't know whether to say "shiiiiit" or "faaarrrrk"'

My 3 year old thinks it's hilarious.

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

"Katter" oil on canvas 120x120

#art #painting #oilpainting #auspol

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

@piersmorgan get @KyleKulinski to host your show while you're gone

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

@piersmorgan AQA

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

@acapulco_denver Oh man, I cannot wait for the audiobook version.

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

@maximumwelfare I legit remember a partnership between Brian Lara and Richie Richardson that went longer than that whole test match (or at least felt like it)

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

Best #books I read this year:

Shifting Sands - Judith Scheele
Che Guevara - Jon Lee Anderson
A Savage War of Peace - Alistair Horne
All three "story of an idea" books by Ian Dunt and Dorian Lynskey
Street Players - Donald Goines
Every Man for Himself.. - Werner Herzog

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

"Green Ottoman" Oil pastel and watercolour on paper. A3. #art #drawing

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Jasper @jcliffordsmith]

"Stop" oil on canvas 60x40cm. #art #Oilpainting #painting