James Weatherman

Contractor in Northast Texas

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.

And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.

Here is what they are discovering:

Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.

Then they found the grocery stores.

Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.

The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.

They finally understand why we do not have trains.

We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.

Why would we need trains.

The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.

Welcome to America.
Everything is free, enormous, air conditioned, comes with chips, and has five grocery stores within a mile that will sell you any cut of any animal you have ever imagined.

Write that down. 🦋

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

@JaredSandler Jeff Buroughs

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

@FactsAboutTexas

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

It's like a divorce. Mavs are your mom, Luca is your step dad, Dirk is your dad that passed away a few years back. As a kid you don't think the hurt will ever pass. But mom has found a new boyfriend, she says is better for the family. But you hurt to much to see it. @1053SS

[Texas Game Wardens @TexasGameWarden]

1/5 Last week, after hunting at Bois D'Arc Lake for several days, two experienced duck hunters from Louisiana found themselves in a dire situation. Their mud boat struck a tree around noon and sank, leaving them clinging to trees in 15 feet of cold water.

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

@MaryTilesTexas

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

@FS1 what's wrong the the Texas/Tampa Bay baseball broadcast?

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

@JaredSandler DVD

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

@LeBatardShow @MichaelRyanRuiz I guess Dak made it to the Superbowl!
@1053SS

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

@BGatesIsaPyscho @ClimateRealists Now it makes sense why Davos invited all the speakers who disagree with them. They're getting nervous.

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

@RedEyeAlerts We had pay phones by the office and the Gym.

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

@Super70sSports Looks exactly like my first new car. Manual 3-speed.

[Eli🔍 @Finer_Grains]

Say what you want about Jordan Peterson, but the fact that he got protesters to leave him alone by holding his talks at 8:30 in the morning is hilarious.

[ESPN @espn]

Seven years ago today, Rougned Odor punched Jose Bautista and started a historic brawl in Texas 💥

[Buitengebieden @buitengebieden]

There are two kind of dogs.. 😅

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

@Super70sSports Worst part was when one went over the wooden fence into the neighbor's yard and you hated to look over the fence to see if it hit someone.

[Kevin Turner @ktfuntweets]

It's the greatest episode in television history

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

@ktfuntweets Kind of a moonist aren't you. Have you ever seen the moon and a spy balloon together at the same time. When Kyrie gets in town will come over and talk to you about it.

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

Hey @rjchoppy what does Pollard and some of the other players have on their necks

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

@wfaa Yes

[James Weatherman @jeatherman]

Sulphur Springs @wfaa