jeff

wee wee man

[jeff @jefframirez__]

i can remember people who i haven’t talked to in years better than i can remember math

[Sharon’s Ex Husband 🐝 @IHateSharon]

WHAT!!?!?!

IT'S SANDERS..BERNIE SANDERS!!! HE'S CASHING IN HIS MONEY IN THE BANK!!!!!

[jeff @jefframirez__]

i’ve had like five different notifications from the mcdonald’s app mention something about mercury being in fucking retrograde i’m this close to getting a mccrispy in protest

[jeff @jefframirez__]

twitter banned me last night bc i made this account when i was 11, which i thought was funny bc i’m 22 now so i didn’t think it was THAT big of a deal

[jeff @jefframirez__]

Greek life in a university is like a breeding ground for sexual harassers and entitled pumpkin spice latte drinkers there’s no in between

[jeff @jefframirez__]

tinder gold is never worth the money bc then you realize exactly what demographic of girls that you’re pulling, and that’s enough of a reality check for me

[jeff @jefframirez__]

getting left on delivered on tinder hurts about as much as finding out peter parker could’ve avoided the events of nwh if he just called college admissions

[jeff @jefframirez__]

if you searched up the term “aspiring milf” on google, the first result is gonna be a picture of like half the girls at western who sold their souls to a sorority

[jeff @jefframirez__]

western students sure do love incriminating themselves on snapchat

[jeff @jefframirez__]

i have horrible time management skills i went to take a nap and forgot i ordered food and now it’s cold :(((

[jeff @jefframirez__]

swiping left on everyone i see on tinder and bumble makes me question what my standards actually are

[jeff @jefframirez__]

online school can literally throw itself off a cliff

[jeff @jefframirez__]

i do not remember typing this tweet

[jeff @jefframirez__]

Jheiv guyso km crink

[jeff @jefframirez__]

Jheiv guyso km crink

[jeff @jefframirez__]

bruh one of my coworkers just swiped right on me on tinder I AM GONE 😂😂

[jeff @jefframirez__]

i’ve spent more at H&M and urban planet than no other human should ever have to spend in six months

[jeff @jefframirez__]

i’m about four months away from turning 19 and also four months away from realizing that IM ALMOST FUCKING 20

[jeff @jefframirez__]

i just realized that with the amount of jeans, sweaters and converse shoes i’ve been buying and my discovery of tame impala, i’m one starbucks cup away from being a full-on hipster

[jeff @jefframirez__]

i’ll never forget the time when i bought a bike off some asian dude on kijiji and the back wheel completely popped right after i got it. that shit cost me $50 to fix and it all happened last week

[jeff @jefframirez__]

there’s this guy who always shows up at the McDonald’s i work at and orders nothing but hot water. and he drinks it like that. no coffee, no tea, just hot water.