Chawlips

[Hugh @Mike_Steaks]

@Hayesfawcett3 newest commit out of the Bay Area. Two way player on the lacrosse field will likely convert to safety for the wolverines defense and coach Kyle

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

I unequivocally root against the Catholic Church harder watching Shogun than I do watching Spotlight

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

How will people know I’m gay if I have Apple Music

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

Damn your boy was never a chef until you bring your girl to Korean bbq night

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

@Humphrey327 And the card is my penis

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

Kids these days will never experience the joy of waking up passed out next to your dad’s pool and remembering it’s nudie magazine day

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

@Mr__Tweeets Sorry followers. Turns out this exists and it is the TouchTunes app.

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

An app that shows a map of all the bars with TouchTunes in your area

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

Let’s end the stigma around Shazamming songs.

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

Tom Hanks’s Boston accent in ‘Catch Me If You Can’ is borderline offensive

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

I’m always just between vodka sodas

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

@samtrayter Killer circ bro who’s your mohel?

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

It’s odd that I know watch an older gentleman leave a bathroom stall with a young woman and rationalize it by thinking it was probably just an exchange of bag.

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

@King_Louis1995 @Shazam Nice!

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

@Humphrey327 The sexual energy on the fast train is palpable

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

@ScottDistrict47 @nypost Human-robot marriage is the civil rights issue of our generation you bigot

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

My therapist’s face every time I use the word “society” during a session

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

Uber for lobotomies

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

Elden ring gonna have my neighbors thinking I’m having a domestic dispute in my apartment I am so tilted

[Chawlips @jeffylips]

@nypost Decapitated? Not suffocated?