Jenny Shopper

Likes: cats in people clothes, Toddlers and Tiaras, restaurants named after me, mom jeans
Dislikes: doughnut juice on my computer, housekeepers, sobriety tests

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

Me *watching Kitchen Nightmares from my trash heap*: What monsters!! Dust on the ceiling fan?? Disgusting.

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

I pinned a bunch of pasta recipes and now Pinterest is only showing me outfits that are plus-sized #HintTaken

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

I just saw a woman on a bench who was eating a whole rotisserie chicken and drinking a bottle of cheap wine. I finally found my soulmate. #WineWednesday #SorryGreg

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

This is NOT a drill--we just saw the Property Brothers at Fisherman's Warf in San Francisco. Jesus God. #LifeComplete

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

Then she went home with a guy who was held back in 5th grade.

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

Just saw some chick grind on her dad.

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

Will liquor stores even sell you Potters vodka if you're 21?

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

You know you've seen too much @RuPaulsDragRace when you hear "and don't fuck it up" whenever someone wishes you luck...

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

I think my puppy Lucy just spoiled the season finale of the Bachelor for me. So anyway, anybody want a free dog?

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

Just saw a car straddling the fence on the side of the highway. Going the wrong way. #stayclassyColoradoSprings

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

My fat cousin has officially gotten fatter. She blames it on giving birth but I know the truth. #BitchGotKnockedUpSoSheCouldQuitDieting

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

I am at the same job fair as my coworker rn. Did I mention our boss is here recruiting? #50ShadesOfAwkward

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

The side chick's name AND phone number has been released on Facebook!! #JustWhenIThoughtItWasOver

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

@Alaska5000 Could you be on every show, please? Starting with The Bachelor.

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

@BachelorABC When Greg and I break up can he be the next bachelor? And I pick the contestants. #BringOnTheUggos

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

The moral of the story is to marry someone who wouldn't cheat but who is smart enough not to get caught if they did. #ShopperOut

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

My cousin is bring optimistic now so I think the Facebook drama is over :( #WhatAboutMyFeelings

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

So her brother posted on her wall that her ex is lucky he left Fresno because he needs an ass whooping. And tagged the dude in it.

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

@SAMKISLIA still watching #RuPaulsDragRace though. Not gonna lie. #NoRupologies

[Jenny Shopper @jenny_shopper]

@SAMKISLIA I meant it when I said this is better than reality tv. I shut off The Real World for this.