Dandelion

Mother, participation trophy wife, warrior, witch hunter, survivor, beautiful mess #momlife #momsquad #fbr #theresistance

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

Overheard while kids play with legos:

7: He has all his parts. His head, his legs, his junk. That's his penis.

5: his penis is junk? Like junk food?

7: no, a boy's penis is not made of junk food. If mine was, I hope it would be a jolly rancher.

Not sure where I went wrong..

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

@jilevin

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

@HuskiesLuv I feel this in my soul. I was 47. The world is a much bigger without parents.

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

2020: Stephen King
2021: Tom Clancy

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

@chrissyteigen I’m sorry for the pain ur going through. As a woman who had bleeding at 19 weeks & lost her son, Zane, at 23 weeks, due to a molar placenta, you’ve been on my mind.. You & John are in my prayers as u navigate this lifetime of what ifs. Big hugs from SC. God bless.

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

@5thwheel4 I adopted my children. They’re better people than you will ever be. Bless your ❤️

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

Overheard while kids play with legos:

7: He has all his parts. His head, his legs, his junk. That's his penis.

5: his penis is junk? Like junk food?

7: no, a boy's penis is not made of junk food. If mine was, I hope it would be a jolly rancher.

Not sure where I went wrong..

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

Poor Melania....
Digging for gold in all the wrong places...

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

Take note
#2020Festivus

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

Is this when the “president” reminds us that “these are good people who are angry” ? I only ask because there is actually a legitimate reason for anger in this situation.

#StandUp4HumanRights #dontstandbystandup

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

Our country has berated peaceful protests. You’re a joke. I don’t remember seeing any posts about the people with guns protesting.

[Melania Trump 45 Archived @FLOTUS45]

Our country allows for peaceful protests, but there is no reason for violence. I’ve seen our citizens unify & take care of one another through COVID19 & we can’t stop now. My deepest condolences to the family of George Floyd. As a nation, let's focus on peace, prayers & healing.

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

Everyone on FB posting cute avatars...
Me:

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

Kid menu:

The “I have my iPad” - doesn’t matter, I’m too busy to eat.

The “I hate you bc I want my iPad “ : doesn’t matter, I’m not eating

The “I’ll give you a break, today”: haha, hot dog roll with a chocolate milk dip

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

My children have reached their limits and are trying to escape.

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

Nothing motivates my children to play nicely together more than me saying “it is time for school work”’ .

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

@thistallawkgirl He looks like anybody you see on the street. But when he grins, birds fall dead off telephone lines. When he looks at you a certain way, your prostate goes bad and your urine burns. The grass yellows up and dies where he spits. - the Stand

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

I just signed a tax form 4-30-30, in case you’re wondering how I’m handling quarantine.

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

6: I’ll have a beard.
Server: did she say beard?
Me: don’t be ridiculous, she said beer.

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

@MomOf2Happas

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

@SeanAtch41 And 3 assholes.

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

Dog Man

[Dandelion @Jennyresists]

Why don’t pediatricians encourage swaddling older kids? Straight jackets seem appropriate right now - for soothing purposes, of course.

#QuarantineLife
#QuarantineActivities