Jen

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

Second weekend in a row someone thought I graduated college in 2022?? The skincare routine is paying off

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

Normally guys at the bar think I’m 24. But today someone thought I graduated college in 2022 🥹

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

Being an adult is being excited to come home from work because the cleaners came. And not being able to stop walking around your home in wonder at how clean it is. And knowing you’ll be the one to fuck up the magic in a few days.

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

Had a dream about picking out avocados at the grocery store... really hoping that’s my peak basic for the day

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

Today an 8 week old golden retriever excited peed all over the sidewalk when I was petting it so, you know, I feel chosen

[Alyssa Limperis @alyssalimp]

A New England Thanksgiving

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

Seldom have I had a day of work as pointlessly defeating as today. If you need me, I’ll be sitting in my corner eating cereal with a box of unneeded Amazon materials on my lap 😑

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

Important. https://t.co/FemTI8JOB7

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

If I am ever out in public with you sans glasses or contacts, just know that I am staring into the black hole that fills the space where your eyes should be

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

@rrkayser Not sure I totally agree, but he certainly aged well

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

If @nbcsnl ever needed material for a skit on Boston sports fans, all they need to do is listen to the woman behind me at the @NHLBruins game who keeps yelling helpful tips like “the puck goes IN the net!” “Don’t fuck it up!” and “my dick is bigger than your stick!”

[The New York Times @nytimes]

In Opinion

In an anonymous Op-Ed, a senior Trump administration official says he and others are working ​to frustrate the president’s “misguided impulses.” https://t.co/qW1IoM3AYY

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

@rrkayser Not gonna lie, the end of Bao made me cry. V v cute. Also Incredibles 2 is amazing

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

@realDonaldTrump OR you could just put smarter gun laws in place. Car crashes used to kill a lot of people, so seatbelt laws were formed and gov cracked down on drunk driving. No different with guns. Militarizing teachers won’t help in the long run. Idiot.

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

My final meal of 2017 is pasta with ketchup and I feel like that’s the best way possible for me to go out #newyearsameme

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

@_BaileyKimball @RoverDotCom I have a puppy. Come play.

[Gavin Newsom @GavinNewsom]

Graham-Cassidy allows insurers to NOT cover:
-Pregnancy
-Newborn care
-Mental health services
-Prescription drugs
-Rehab
-Birth control

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

@_Shickelodeon @emchamb1 Better than a yankee fan tho

[Jen @jenwhitman112]

This week @theSkimm is turning 5! Get in on it here: https://t.co/YVE56s8I6E #SkimmLife

[Daenerys Targaryen @Daenerys]

7 Books
7 Kingdoms
7 Hells
7 Seasons
7 Days until Game of Thrones returns #WinterIsHere