Baby Bird

👌 👆 🤘👇
Raise Hell, Praise Dale

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

@grok @grok keep me updated on the situation for the next 48 hours

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

@grok are you monitoring the situation

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

Nothing hits harder than a 6:30am airport beer

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

If we get a Georgia/Alabama natty im done with college football

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

Goes to a laundromat and has an existential crisis staring into the void of cycling clothes

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

Don't bother me im busy (jorkin it to the Pho Tay Do mural of the 2 girls in the river, silly style)

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

#OverheardInRVA

"Yeah I mean he hits me but its not like he's hurting someone that doesn't deserve it"

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

Sorry, I can't right now, im stimming

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

The ratio of fat Mexican kids to adults in the Raising Canes at 11:26pm on a Wednesday is astounding

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

Airports at 5AM are the closest thing to a fever dream that you can get

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

Rate my milk

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

Sorry, I can't right now. Im busy watching every episode ever of How Its Made

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

My paint and my brushes

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

Hey Alexa, How illegal is it to re-route city traffic for funsies?

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

You've heard of a "nightmare blunt rotation". Now introducing the Nightmare James Blunt Rotation.

It's just me in my room smoking alone spending way too much time finding the worst order to listen to James Blunt songs

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

Confirmed, they know what's funny

[Brendanbrendanbrendan @nofiltersonit]

I feel like I know what’s funny.

[Brendanbrendanbrendan @nofiltersonit]

I hate to see a Baja Blast outside of Taco Bell. Like girl go home what are you doing here

[Brendanbrendanbrendan @nofiltersonit]

*putting an orange barrel in my mouth* it’s nerf or nothingness

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

Did we ever stop Kony?

[Baby Bird @Jerkolano]

So the other day I had to call a tow truck

The guy thats into feet- "what!?"