i wish i was normal idk how else to explain what i got going on… this shit feels heavy this shit feels like a war i hate everything about everything i can’t even stand myself.
why is it that someone can show u 100% they want to be with u, they choose u every single day, they tell u all the time ur beautiful & this & that everything that u ever wanna hear but somehow.. u js can’t seem to believe their word.
this healing comes in waves. on some days you will drown and on other days you will float. on some days you will feel broken and on other days you will feel renewed. be patient with yourself.
4. where did stuff go wrong? did i do something for me to deserve this? is this my karma for my past? i’m not proud but im sorry. what i do now is what matters right?? oh God help me… im going crazy trying to understand life and myself.
3. the ppl that know me have always know ive always been such a bubbly person, im crazy in a good way, i dont care in good & bad ways. but now?? i cant recognize myself. i look at myself and im just confused as to why i see this sad, heavy hearted girl? & i ask God where did
2. it feels much worse this time. maybe cuz ik the stuff ik now? therapy has been a huge help but i kinda slacked on it now. ik i need to get back to it but what if i can never get better? what if im js sad forever ? i feel things so deeply how am i ever gonna get over this?
1. i never realized how bad mental health can be/get till i lived through it. back in 2020, when covid first started, i got really fucking depressed & shit got so bad for me but i lived through it, i was much younger too so it felt HORRIBLE. now im 20 and yeah im still young but
no one knows but i’m so sad. i’m so sad and this is probably the saddest i’ve felt and i’ve been thru it in life bitch so that says a lot. idk what to do with this sadness
my intuition is so crazy. i can literally have no evidence of what's going on but still know there's something going on behind my back & I'm always right