Jess ✨

a little bit of jessica, here i am • UNH '15 • pretending to be an adult

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

#BachelorVote BAILEY

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

Since Donald Trump said terrorists are losers, I should probably stop saying I've dated losers. Ppl might get the wrong idea

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

Hey @Delta your bag checking agents sleep in? Flight boards in an hour and there’s a line of about 50-75 people and no one working the counter. I did custyServ once - I’ll hop behind the counter for free flights for life

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

Every time I fly @Delta the plane is delayed HOURS. I am thirsty, the bars are closed. I am hungry, no snacks available. I am tired, and hours from home. Someone send help.

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

Is Colton telling every hot girl she has beautiful eyes?

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

It’s that time of year, when I only use twitter for talking shit about the bachelor

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

WHY DOES TRUMP KEEP TAKING HAPPINESS ON MONDAY NIGHTS AWAY FROM US @BacheloretteABC #TheBachelerotte

[Kylie Abegg @KylieAbegg]

Dear Becca, I’m sorry I ruined your life and crammed 11 cookies into the VCR. #theBachelorette

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

America just fell in love with Jason #TheBachelerotte

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

Producers on #TheBachelorette “Hey Becca, your ‘let’s do the damn thing’ slogan generated literally no revenue. So we found the cheapest Spirit Airlines flight. It’s Richmond, VA. Go make the best of it!” @BacheloretteABC

[The Bachelorette @BacheloretteABC]

Who’s Becca talking to?

Jake from Minneapolis.

What are you wearing “Jake from Minneapolis?”

Ummm...no socks.

#TheBachelorette

[The Bachelorette @BacheloretteABC]

Colton and friend! ❤️
#TheBachelorette

[Evan Bass @ebassclinics]

I joined twitter 2 years ago thinking it was a fun way to watch people talk about me on #thebachelorette. But then I was mercilessly skewered for weeks on end. Tonight I return the favor towards this poor unsuspecting batch of protein filled influencer wannabes.

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

Is there ACTUALLY anything more annoying than when you’re filling out a form on your phone & it asks for your phone / credit card number & it doesn’t give you the number key pad???

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

@JuliaGemma Eat halo top it’s healthier

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

Whenever I eat snacks my dog looks at me like this and tbh I think he’s judging me bc he refuses to eat when I try to share. Not ok w the #FatShaming

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

*applies to a hospital for a doctors position*

Hospital: ”Ma’am do you have any medical school experience?”

Me:”No, but I have 6 years of Greys Anatomy experience as an alternative”

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

Speaking in gibberish so your parents didn’t know your super top secret plans as a 10 year old.

[Sean Lowe @SeanLowe09]

My rap name is Carbi-B. 🥞🍪🍔

[Jess ✨ @jess_boudreau8]

Anyone else think of this when they heard the gronk 911 call?