Jessica

[s @sfergs_]

Gave a man my phone last night at the function so he could type in his instagram and a girl comes up to him and goes “Don’t fucking piss me off” snatched my phone out of his hand and gave it back to me😭😭😭😭 she’s real asf and funny as fuck for that I love women😭😭😭

[kmw ⌨️ @KatieM606]

10/10 parenting. I will die on the hill that supporting young adults and staying right there with them as they climb into adulthood is one of the most important things you will ever, ever do as a parent.

[Jedi @dhe3g]

Without exaggerating, it's my favorite video in the world

[michael 🎧 @MVPierani]

When Mom asked if I defrosted the chicken.

[Douglas A. Boneparth @dougboneparth]

My wife: Did you do that thing I asked you to do?

Me:

[Casual Thursday @CasualThursday]

Me when the waiter asks who had the sizzlin fajitas

[Jesse Kelly @JesseKellyDC]

This is not acceptable. This is humiliating for the country. I don’t know what needs to be done, but we have to stop this.

The senate is not hospice.

[🕷️Tanner🕷️ @Tanner_Slavin]

If you’re old enough that a fall can take you out of commission for several months, you shouldn’t be in the fucking government

[Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman]

Best one so far

[Travis Akers 🇺🇸 @travisakers]

Trailcam is THE best account on this site.

[Ray ✨🍉 @PacificOfRay]

L’avion qui passe… pire timing jamais vu 😭😭😭

[justina @justtjustinaa]

I think I’m gonna die in this house

[Cami 🇨🇱 @crimsoncamii]

And this is why, each and every time, we pick the bear 🐻

[wes @wvw_wes]

devastado que esse tweet não foi meu

[✩₊˚.Meadow🜡⚨☿⚧️ ⚝⨺⃝ Thon/Thons/It/Its ⁺₊✧ @Qyilldrisstessa]

This kid died because getting sexually assaulted by an officer scared him.

The officer wasn’t allowed to continue to sexually assault him so he shot him instead.

Every single one of you In the comments saying he deserved it expected him to let himself get sexually assaulted.

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

no that's okay thank you though <3

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

remember all those boys we sent to jupiter to more stupider? i think they’re back

[jill scott heron🪐 @stillnotziora]

dolly parton just died go smack a redhead bitch today to pay your respects (not me tho)

[henry the vacuum @henry_sux]

that rat bitch jolene did this

[𝔎𝔱 ❤️‍🔥 @caddyshackmeow]

yeah and i'm gonna do it again tonight