jb

whatever, I’m getting cheese fries

[jb @jessbee_]

Dating apps be like:

Matt, 30, financial analyst, enjoys craft beer and hiking

Matt, 33, holding a dead fish: “let’s eat pizza and watch the office”

Matt, 28: “if you don’t work out we won’t work out” “go birds” 6’1” because apparently that matters”

[jb @jessbee_]

Please tell me @upuntil_dawn got her cat????

[jb @jessbee_]

I’m finally catching up on UKvtW and Sminty is pissing me off because how do you come back for ALL STARS and still not know the lyrics to the lip sync songs??? And then to blame someone else for your elimination!!! The audacityyyyyyy

[jb @jessbee_]

MAGAs: We don’t care that tr*mp is a rapist, pedophile, murderer, cannibal, con man grifter starting wars and aiding in genocides because of *lower gas prices* !!!!

The gas prices:

[jb @jessbee_]

It’s very on brand for the Phillies to not even let us enjoy this Mets losing streak

[Commie Trucker @commie_trucker]

Pay us enough to live.

[jb @jessbee_]

I feel like we never hear about Uzbekistan. What goes on there

[jb @jessbee_]

OH MY GOD

[ėrick @wonderxboy]

🚨 Jonathan Bailey officially Joins 'Heated Rivalry' Season 2 as Eric Bennett
via: Deadline

[jb @jessbee_]

John Kruk is quite literally the only reason I can watch the Phillies

[jb @jessbee_]

I’m done with the Phillies lol I actually hate it here

[Big Nasty ☭ @keepaustinnasty]

You want Donald Trump impeached.
I want the entire ruling class hung from lampposts by their ankles.
We are not the same.

[𝖇 🪦💐 @hereliesbaddieb]

women from Philadelphia:

[jb @jessbee_]

So drag race is just fucking with us at this point, right?

[Yves ౨ৎ @yvessirae]

The misandry debate, summarised

[jb @jessbee_]

My hatred for Alec bohm is back babyyyy

[POiSON GiRL FRiEND @sweetpianofairy]

real men don't care if you're a manhater btw its the triggered ones you gotta watch out for

[jb @jessbee_]

Had a s*x dream about the man who ruined my life and gave me lifelong trauma and now my brain is hyper fixated on him yayyy cool cool cool cool cool cool

[𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖚 ⋆. 𐙚˚࿔ @hesgetway]

this line singlehandedly changed the trajectory of everyone’s life and it’s not even an exaggeration