jess

32 • stl • she/her • “hate on me all you want, you can’t unfatten this ass.”

[jess @jessebmac]

incredible 💙💛

[St. Louis Blues @StLouisBlues]

You're going to want to C this.

[jess @jessebmac]

do you think @NoahKahan would be proud of me starting medication at the end of august???

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

[talking to myself] can you please not piss me off right now.

[jess @jessebmac]

@NoahKahan be honest did you make a song for hunger games

BE HONEST

[jess @jessebmac]

usually to the end if the hallway. it’s nice, it’s like a choose my own adventure for which doorway i’ll pick for us.

[The Cat Senate @TheCatSenate]

Do your cats ever welcome you home and then demand you follow them and they take you to no where

[jess @jessebmac]

so your problem isn’t the child care part, it’s the free part.

i’ve been a daycare and preschool teacher, and private nanny. guess what those parents did? fuckin moron lol.

[Don Soprano @DonOfDynasty]

@Complex Call me old fashioned but I don’t think giving your kids away to random city employees so you can have free time is a smart move.

[jess @jessebmac]

boyfriend went outside to smoke.
all three cats managed to get outside.
i cackled for like 22 seconds before helping.

they’re all fine, they’re just shits lol

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

Yes, in fact, I do think the guy flipping burgers at McDonald’s should be able to afford rent, bills, and groceries with his paycheck alone. That’s kind of the whole point of having a job and I can’t believe this is considered a radical position for me to take.

[jess @jessebmac]

great. and i don’t wanna hear another thing about it till it fucking happens.

[USA Report 🇺🇸 @UsaReport07]

🚨 BREAKING:

Donald Trump's immunity has been lifted...

The U.S. Supreme Court has issued a ruling lifting Trump's immunity in connection with the Epstein case.

The way has been cleared for his prosecution, and he could be removed from office.

[jess @jessebmac]

i love my boy

[hayley🐞 @coffeeandacheck]

wake up babe a new angle of the voice crack just dropped

[jess @jessebmac]

my babies 😭

[hannah ⟢ @zzataras]

💔

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

Eventually an ICE agent wearing those electric shock gloves is gonna scratch his nuts and I just hope it happens on camera

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

“Get a cat,” they said. “Cats are so great,” they said. “Especially a black cat, they’re adopted less often!”
He bites my toes.

[jess @jessebmac]

wow i’m so happy for you, denver 😤

[Noah Kahan Archive @KahanArchive]

🐞 The Great Divide Tour Denver, CO Night 2 Setlist! 🐞

The surprise song was Everywhere, Everything and Noah also gave us a second surprise and played Paul Revere at the C stage! (Instead of Dan or All Them Horses)

[jess @jessebmac]

@MarkRuffalo being THE most outspoken celebrity against maga and all it “stands” for is my favorite part of this horror film we’re all living in.

i love you, mark. keep fucking talking ❤️

[Mark Ruffalo @MarkRuffalo]

It’s going to a be a long election season for Mike “roger that” Rogers. Abdul is undeniable.

[jess @jessebmac]

and y’all are mad that she doesn’t “speak up” bitch look. with your eyeballs. blondie does more good than the stupid orange sitting in the oval office ever has.

[BettyM @Markfolklore]

Actions instead of taking it to Instagram stories 👏🏽 👑

[jess @jessebmac]

@NoahKahan have you considered cyber bullying? i can do it for you 🫶🏻

[jess @jessebmac]

@NoahKahan noah please stop yelling, we’re fragile

[jess @jessebmac]

brb moving to michigan

[Simon Ateba @simonateba]

Abdul is really having fun! What an election we are about to go through!

[jess @jessebmac]

@thetroubleahead those are my two favs from stick season (and maybe all time?) and i neeeeed them

[jess @jessebmac]

omg i found my noah soulmate 🥲🫶🏻

[soph 🐞🦬 @thetroubleahead]

if noah's seeing my "___ tonight queen" tweets i wonder if he thinks they're requests or if he knows it's me genuinely guessing. because if it was me making requests, it would be paul revere or growing sideways every night icl