Jesse- Lee ☾

South African now permanently in Panama City 🇵🇦 fumbling through broken Spanish conversations since 2020.

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

Stephen’s scaly bone dry shoulder skin on @tellmelieshulu is sending me. Like that snakey ass man is actively shedding. #TellMeLies

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

I’ve read the book and I actually agree - but the movie placed WAY less emphasis on the abuse than the book. Hollywood uses artistic license in film / book adaptations all the time, so why couldn’t we JUST THIS ONCE use that power to drive home a very important message, instead of just ramping up the sexy / dramatic stuff like they ALWAYS do?

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

There are so many possibilities, but as someone who’s spoken about personal DV experiences I have witnessed how women who haven’t experienced similar feel so uncomfortable hearing about it. There is a lot of judgement cast on women who stay and put up with it - that’s a huge part of the struggle and shame but the way this story was told, it glossed over all of that. I think the woman involved have chosen to highlight and celebrate how strong Lily was about it her abuse, which is a very heartwarming narrative that is unfortunately not reflective of the reality. It once again just plays into the stereotype that a woman who stays is weak. It made leaving look so easy. Even Ryles response in the hospital - how often can victims of abuse say that they drew a neat little boundary and it was all over? No way. There was absolutely no coverage of the havoc that ensues when you realize you’re in an abusive relationship and have to fight your way out of it. The restraint keeping you there is psychological and very real and I think if Justin had his way we would’ve seen more of that. DV got the Hollywood treatment here and the glitzy cast and promotion to match.

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

@lucyfarago @GraemeONeil @MediumSizeMeech Couldn’t agree more. Why do we continue to support narratives that suppress the voices of the abused? It’s such a disappointment

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

I don’t know - I get the optics are bad but there are A LOT of men who feel very strongly about fighting against DV, and I think he bought rights to a story that really impacted him and was steamrolled because he’s a man telling a woman’s story. They should have sold it to a woman. Him having to suppress his vision is a bummer as it was his movie. It’s not like the woman involved are using this as a platform to raise awareness either - once again, we’re burying DV like a dirty secret, even when it’s the entire purpose of the story. The promo around all of this is setting up the abuse as a jump scare and it’s an opportunity to actually make survivors feel seen and understood. As someone who’s been through a very similar situation, I get the need to portray the dreamy, too good to be true part of the abuse but let’s talk about the lasting damage not just about the run away into the sunset with an equally hot dude a few years later part. Single mom with her abusers baby? Starting over while trying to run a new business? The shame and guilt that follows you? The confusing pull to stay? None of that was given enough of a platform

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

The crew distanced themselves because him and Blake had major differences on the film direction - Blake and Colleen wanted to make the film light, romantic, funny etc. and Justin wanted to focus on the domestic violence aspect, because that’s what impacted him in the book. The team sided with Blake. The whole reason he bought the rights was to make people look DV in the face and to inspire woman who may be dealing with it to have the courage to walk away. I understand his frustration because I felt all the uncomfortable, gritty scenes in the book were rushed and not emphasized enough. That aspect of the story was also buried in promo like a dirty little secret, which is where I believe this divide came in. It just feeds into the narrative that DV is a shameful topic. I guess battered, broken women don’t “sell” the way romance does, but that wasn’t why he made the film and I think romanticizing it was a huge problem for him because it wasn’t about the money - it was about amplifying a story that really impacted him. He even partnered with a DV non profit to tell the story properly. As a DV survivor I totally get why he’d be disappointed. Promotion of the film has been WAY too fluffy, and he was in total disagreement on all of that. Just listen to the difference in how Justin vs Blake are promoting the film. Speaks for itself. He’s a good guy that was trying to do the right thing, and who often takes on meaningful projects, but he’s being dragged because everyone is siding with Blake. The “he must’ve done something” argument is biased and doesn’t put them on equal footing. Men and women should be treated fairly in all aspects, right? Yet we assume he’s in the wrong because we’re waiting for a good man to fall. Of course we don’t know the inner workings, but what happened to innocent until proven guilty? It’s so frustrating that everyone just chooses to believe that it HAS to have been something he did. His vision and ideas were suppressed by a group of powerful women, and even though he was fighting to highlight an important issue that affects women, he’s still the bad guy.

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

Let’s test bias: Guess 5 musical acts / artists that I like based on the fact that I like @Babymetal__JP

#music #kawaiimetal

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

Right so, a lot of game ads have forced interaction in order to initiate the close option. But my prediction is that next, biometric technology will be used to pause ads when “eyes are away” and as diabolical as that is, I’m pretty sure we’ll accept it and move on like we have with everything else

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

Meta is going HARD with their AI TV ads. Can we all agree that we will NOT be giving a company that profits MASSIVELY off of simple search and tracking data, access to contextual data about our lives, ideas, thoughts, routines, and behaviors? Let’s not fall for the “hey who cares about little old me” narrative. Data at scale is insanely valuable. We need to start treating it that way.

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

@LuckyGordy @JamesPrestonZA This happened to me - video of my dogs with a personification joke text overlay. 2.5 million unexpected (and never repeated) views 🫠

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

Shew, genius indeed! My algorithm is a mixture of: all the music genres I like, child music prodigies, golden buzzer videos (because, who doesn’t appreciate a good ol’ tear jerker?), cute kid and dog videos, scarily accurate opinion pieces, current affairs, economy pieces, tech pieces, and whatever I’m facinated with at the time. I’ve been caught in crazy niche algorithm loops at different stages - deep sea discovery, ancient history, how it’s made, unfiltered amateur creators, survivalist creators, politics pieces, OLD video archives (insane what used to be considered normal) and recently, a lot of Ray Dalio-esque content 🤷‍♀️

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

I love this!!! Well done to you for putting the work in - and NOT weird at all - I believe that when you have it on your heart to share a message with someone, it’s super important that you do, and that it’s for a reason. Life is WAY too short to leave those kinda things unsaid - you never know what impact you’re making. It’s something I live by and I think human connection is reparative and powerful in healing our traumas and reminding us the true meaning of humanity ❤️

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

Guess my mess 🫶🏼👇🏼

normal person: how are you?

my brain: you mean now that my latest deadline-induced 48 hour hyper focus stint has subsided, and the tweaky adrenaline and over excitement of a unexpected positive outcome (despite previous success) has past, and I’ve finally acknowledged my basic physiological needs, and I’m playing Zelda on a DS simulator in my bed before 10:PM? Somehow, still a cortisol riddled ball of anxiety. no one actually cares. Don’t over share. It’s just a text. What if they need something? If it’s important they’ll send another text or call. This is overwhelming. I’ll just reply later.

*never replies*

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

@MRises43704 @BUNNIMODER Unfortunately the good banter/false confidence/unconventionally good looking/friends like him combo took me out. I didn’t see the red flags until I started really liking someone I’d never ordinarily go out with, but I learned a LOT about what kind of men spoilt boys become

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

The plot thickens. He ghosted me for A WEEK while “he was deciding if he could get past things” only to take me out for a coffee (I paid) and end things “cause I deserve better and he’s not ready for a relationship with someone as great as me”

Saw me out like a year later (pregnant gf at home alone) and had the AUDACITY to tell me he ACTUALLY ended things because he was falling in love (pls) and could tell I wasn’t serious (bs) and that I was always the one he pictured starting a family with (???)

Harassed me to the point that his friends asked me to please just leave because he’s going to “mess up his relationship”. 9 years + a whole CHILD later and she’s still just his gf and is SO out of his league. It’s an actual joke.

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

I was seeing a guy for like 3 months, slept over at his house more than a few times a week and almost every weekend, met all his friends, his parents, extended family…. He finally asked me to be his girlfriend one night, then took it back the next day saying he wanted to “do it properly.” Few weeks later he asked me to call his friend from his phone and I saw messages between him and a girl he’d been hooking up with throughout. I didn’t want to admit I’d seen it, but I was so hurt and tried to get him to admit it. He called things off because he couldn’t get past the fact I didn’t trust him. Turns out he met the mother of his child while we were together. NEVER assume anything, that was NOT a relationship.

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

@luinalaska Totally feel you on the dogs. If it’s not in the email or listing, don’t bother 🫶🏼 if they complain it just makes them look bad, cause it wasn’t transparent prior to booking, or presented on check in - and I’m sure you could dispute any inaccurate claims via the platform. F’em

[Jesse- Lee ☾ @Jesseleecarden]

@styledinred Woah guys - you know anyone could have fabricated this, right? Why are we not actively fact checking in 2024 💀can’t find mention of this anywhere on the internet.