jess ✨

27- not kinda cool, but pretty cool 🌱tofu slut 🌱

[jess ✨ @jesshatessmiles]

y’all my brother in law is famous

[weed & wagyu @jessethechef]

This how much I love sweet tea

[☔ @Whotfismick]

Me trying to convince myself that soon everything is going to be better and I won’t feel like this anymore

[⋆ @lowkeyalbert]

Life sucks right now but at least I'm not typing a paragraph and begging someone to stay in my life.

[˖ Ritz 𓂀 ݁˖ @ridhima_z]

The reason margaritas taste so good is because they are a spiritually safe drink

They have a salt circle that wards off evil

[𝓐 ⭑ @ayojoestar]

The AuDHD experience of finding more peace at midnight than you found all day because nobody is watching, needing, or evaluating you.

[Anvi🍒 @anvixox]

when i was so busy at work and didn’t even get a chance to pretend i was working:

[☔ @Whotfismick]

The craziest thing about being an adult is that you can go through the most traumatic night of your life and still have to go to work the next day

[jor @wombpatrol]

i understand preventing theft but we gotta unlock the deodorant aisle we gotta let people steal that shit during summer as a public good

[‏ً @itsnwts]

Women hate men as a SYSTEM, not as individuals.

Men hate women as PEOPLE.

[☔ @Whotfismick]

when your airpods dies so you gotta listen to mfs around you speak

[manic nixon dream girl @kennixonette]

squidward is an ageing conservative homosexual, probably with a catholic background. you can tell he resents spongebob for being openly femme even though he himself is a bitchy quеenу gay guy who's too bald and poorly dressed to even be charming with it.

[🤠 @heavensbvnny]

as summer approaches i want to remind the fat girls and fat girls only DO NOT be afraid to wear whatever you want. its too hot to be worried about what people think about your body in shorts.

[daz @MetamateDaz]

boomers: I would die for my country.

Millennials: I would die for my cat.

Gen Z: I would die.

[n @linkinparknglot]

When in the end it doesn’t even matter

[avery 🗡️ ieroween @gorebugs]

When you are Not Okay

[clar 🇻🇪 @zombyte_]

when you're king for a day

[K @iiamkrshn]

Congratulations on working 40 hours! You are now free to dissociate for 2 days

[rose @wynrosei]

When I make a man- hating joke in front of the wrong people and they start lecturing me on how men have feelings too

[Leona @dismaien]

women mask autism so well it looks like emotional intelligence and then they burn out at 30 and nobody understands why

[hoshiumi's 30 YEAR OLD PR team @hoshiumisexy]

some swedish guys domain expansion is just ikea and you get lost