Jessica Irwin

Mother to toddler girl, SAHM, lover of food, coffee, gossip, and sarcasm. Seattle native now in Northern California.

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

@Lin_Manuel my 8 year old is insistent that I send you this message. She has important things to tell you.

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

Cara and Luke love having having juice boxes as a treat. We just received this free sample from Apple and Eve Organics! And just in time for back to school! Perfect for lunches!… https://t.co/zqT1rOC1CF

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

#Kohlscash #KohlsxInfluenster #Contest #Ad @Kohls @Influenster

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

@3byKat with kids or without?

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

@mannlymama it’s a great for people who want it. Also a great publicity stunt. This coming from someone whose husband works for Netflix...

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

@baballance if you don't want to do stomach sleeping my daughter loved the Love to Dream arms up swaddle sack. Not too tight but no startle.

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

@mannlymama no way is butt a bad word. I'm not going to start saying bottom which sounds unnatural to me because someone might be offended.

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

Something went into the wash and now everything we own is covered in glitter. I hate glitter.

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

In the last week I slept the same amount I normally sleep in 3 days. Two year old molars can suck it.

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

@sutherslat you might be my twin. Same name, boob thing, love of junk food, snarkiness and bad tv and now post baby body dismorphia? Haha

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

Up since 3:30 with a toddler that hates sleep and is now screaming to find a one inch tall plastic snowman before I've had a sip of coffee

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

@dahlrick spam ads? Really? Not even a photo of you with the phone. Lame.

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

My kid is a squirrel. I tell her no binkies or one binkies and she starts pulling more out of secret hiding spots only she knows of.

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

If someone would like to come wash sippy cups for me it's about an 8 hour a day job. Someone invent better sippy cups.

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

People with wind chimes are dicks. I did not choose to have them yet I am forced to listen to them every time I want to be outside #earplugs

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

@BekaBooMN doing the same thing tomorrow. It's hard but the kids always have fun so it's worth it.

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

@BekaBooMN a totally new meaning. But I still love the finale. I'm all about binge watching when I'm sick. The best.

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

@BekaBooMN everytime you tweet about #DawsonsCreek I have to start watching my favorite episodes again. I DONT HAVE THE TIME RIGHT NOW!!

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

@mannlymama 40hrs during summer & 20hrs during school. I don't get paying teens to help & pick up their own shit.

[Jessica Irwin @jessicap84]

@mannlymama ha! I didn't even realize they had that restriction too. They should want everyone to have multiple accounts and devices.