Jess

keep it simple

[Jess @jessloe64]

@awrestaurants why is no one here when I need them

[Jess @jessloe64]

Peanut m&m's were on sale at Costco so I snuck them into dads cart like the grown woman I am and now my tummy hurts from eating so many m&m's

[Jess @jessloe64]

I'm asking @AbbeyLoe if she would eat 12 inches of horse rectum from fear factor for $50 000, and her first question was: is it cooked?

[Jess @jessloe64]

Lol when people are all "caturday!" But really the week goes dogday dogday dogday dogday dogday dogday dogday

[Jess @jessloe64]

Why is it that whenever I cook a recipe from the internet it takes me approx 4x as long as it says it will

[Jess @jessloe64]

@KatMassie THAT IS A DISGRACE

[The Ellen Show @TheEllenShow]

For every retweet of this tweet, Bell will donate 5 cents to mental health initiatives. Here’s my 5 cents. Where’s yours? #BellLetsTalk

[Jess @jessloe64]

I can't wait till I'm old and I can call everyone hunny without them batting an eye

[Jess @jessloe64]

@Snapchat you rocked before, why did you have to change

[Jess @jessloe64]

I applaud the people that purposefully clean their license plate. They are proud law abiding citizens

[Jess @jessloe64]

@alex_cheney @AbbeyLoe THANK YOU
It sounds like it's the same thing

[Jess @jessloe64]

@Chilis DON'T LEAVE EDMONTON, DON'T LEAVE ME

[Jess @jessloe64]

My mom calls me a brat probably at least 3x per day yet she still almost cries when I leave for work for a week

[Jess @jessloe64]

I'm boggled how some people can make their left hand do more than just hang out. Mine is so useless. I need two right hands

[Jess @jessloe64]

Driving with @AbbeyLoe
Me: "turn left"
Abb: "no Susie* gets stuck in the middle of intersections"
Not like that's an issue
*Susie is her car

[Jess @jessloe64]

My goal for 2018: do a load of laundry without losing a sock #ineedprayers

[Jess @jessloe64]

Me: *cough*
Abb: "bless you? Was that a sneeze or a cough?"
Me: "it was a cough"
Abb: "well, be blessed anyway"
Thanks Abb
@AbbeyLoe

[Jess @jessloe64]

@AbbeyLoe ME TOO