classic

I’m three ounces of whoop ass

[classic @jesstasmidgen]

you know what i love? seeing pics from my old church and only recognizing my family

[violet✧*｡ @violettweets_]

“we’re supposed to change.”

[Frog and Toad Bot @FrogandToadbot]

‘Get into my bed and rest.’ said Toad. Toad made Frog a cup of hot tea.

[M 🍓 @babyariees]

peeing while u drunk be so fun u just be smiling for no reason

[m @msnetik]

the secret to panic attacks is have fun and be yourself

[☆ ‧dreamboy··‧̩̥˟͙冬˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

i’ve been hacked! please ignore all of my tweets from the past 3 and a half years

[Jack Corbett @jackcorrbit]

termites are like: don't talk to me before i've had my coffee table

[maximus〽️ @Maxthepapi]

Adult friendships be like “I miss you bro, let's hang out in November".

[classic @jesstasmidgen]

@UmActuallyShow um actually this is Simba and Nala with Rafiki holding up their daughter Kiara #umactually

[Parks and Recreation @parksandrec]

He's a 10 but he bankrupted a city after running for mayor when he was 18

[jay ➠ @flvckojamie]

i know my fit fire if my mom dont like it

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

everyone in a friend group has their own little role, and i’m proud to be the one who always thinks everyone should quit their job

[WholesomeMemes @WholesomeMeme]

Talk about your interests in the comments gogogogogo

[Camille Corbett @TheWittyGirl]

If you’ve listened to a man speak for more than 30 minutes, you’re a mother.

[Row @RowBlack_]

When I have a daughter. If she’s 18 and brings home a man 30+. I will fight him. I don’t care how polite or well mannered he is. I couldn’t care less how well I raised my daughter and how mature she thinks she is. He knows what he’s doing.