Tory Jesus

Fed up bailing you lazy fuckers out.

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

Happy birthday to me. Blessings to everyone except all you poor fuckers. I only like those that have pulled themselves up by their bootstraps. 🥳

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

We need peace on Earth, which is why I came to Donald Trump in a dream 3 days ago and told him to bomb Iran.

Peace, incoming...

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

Absolutely no UK Labour voters will receive presents this year. I've communicated this to Santa already. Trump voters in the US; you'll get extra presents.

Fuck the poor✌️

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

I've given Santa strict instructions to give no (zero) presents to poor children. You fuckers are already up to your necks in dependency culture; I don't want to make it worse.

#TheBestWayToPresentsIsWork

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

@Kevin_Maguire Check the reams of fucking UK, cock-sucking gammon all over this😅

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

@LaurenScotty @BrentMorrissey @fesshole Who's the confessor cheating with?

[The National @ScotNational]

EXCLUSIVE: More than a third of the MSPs calling for a pause to the short-term let licencing scheme have links to the sector.

An analysis of MSPs' registers found that a total of 15 of the MSPs who called for the delay to the scheme have a relevant interest in the industry.

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

@GBNEWS Yes, I asked my Dad to do this because Southern England needed more water.👍

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

@HaywireHarris For a minute, I thought you were quitting because of the amount of your colleagues who were raping, abducting and/or killing women.

That would've been more honourable.

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

@irinamaximoff Ever tried a job?

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

Big shout out to all the homeless people today; pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get a job.

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

I condemn to Hell every Royalist arsehole on this thread. There is only one King, and it's his birthday today 😎

[Mirror Breaking News @MirrorBreaking_]

BREAKING Meghan Markle's team have issued a statement

https://t.co/oHUomEusKW

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

Too poor to afford Turkey for #Christmas? There's plenty of road kill out there but you're just too lazy to look for it.

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

Cost of living crisis? Get a third job you lazy slobs!

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Spoiler alert:

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Deep down I know I don’t exist but I’m too afraid to admit it.

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

@TheTweetOfGod I think he's doing just fine.

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

So, you fuckers want a better NHS? Fine. Taxes are going up!

Fucking heart breaking...

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

Currently pleading with Dad to smite Corbyn and his supporters. Fucking sick of their Politics of envy.

#ForThefewNotTheMany

[Tory Jesus @jesus_tory]

Just sick and tired of hearing disabled people bemoaning the UK benefit cuts; stop being a little fucking snowflake and earn some money. Become a busker or something.