JGz🐝

Tweets and retweets dipped in satire—just let the crash out happen and be the change you want to see. But don’t forget to pay in coin, monsters are everywhere.

[JGz🐝 @jgonz0123]

My life right now but we’re in too deep at this point

[𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐑𝐃 @swizardcore]

when your humor has reached such an advanced stage that everyone around you thinks you are retarded

[Mr. Liar @Mrliardo]

😭😭😭

[meera ! 🇮🇳 @draujuna]

guyssses hear me out haha this is kinda crazy *shows gorgeous breathtaking Indian woman* haha don’t judge me guys

[shru˚｡ʚ𓊆୨୧𓊇ɞ｡˚ @sadgirlera_]

you bitches are so weird about brown women this loser ass caption..

[Miss_Snarky⁷⊙⊝⊜🔍⍤⃝🔎 @MissSnarky1]

As an introverted millennial, if I am calling you, it is because:

A) It's a time sensitive issue that absolutely cannot wait;

B) You didn't bother to open or respond to my email;

C) You at least opened the email, but you only partially answered what I was emailing about, and it took you hours or DAYS to do that much;

D) You are responding to my email, but don't seem to understand what I'm trying to say through text, and the conversation is going nowhere; or

E) You answered my email in an illiterate manner, and I can't deal with you via written communication. Verbal may be easier.

I try to always send a follow-up email about what was discussed.

[t ✌️ @y4ngmal]

whenever people gas up south asian women its always so backhanded. 'am i tripping' when she is objectively very attractive. get a fucking grip of yourself, it is underhanded racism

[Ari From Manhattan 💧💧 @Arifromanhattan]

Manhattan which is literally the center of the universe and western civilization in literally every sense, no explanation needed.

Queens because of the ppl, diversity, food, proximity, optionality, concrete/burbs, rappers, basketball players etc.

Not even close.

Brooklyn can take that bronze.

[Liz Is Amused @lizisamused]

"Millennials waste $ on avocado toast" blew my mind because 2/$3 avocado on store-brand bread is a great cheap breakfast.

Then it clicked: Boomers thought it was a $17 meal because they were the ones eating it in restaurants 💀

[Cotton Boulevardez @Shawn_Cotton]

I’ve gambled ALOT in the streets.
Double or Nothing means the winner is trying to DOUBLE what he already won in round 1.. if he loses in round 2.. nothings owed

The loser isnt trying to owe ANYTHING.. so he runs it back fighting his way out of debt… you’ve never played with major players before, it’s showing lol

[JGz🐝 @jgonz0123]

YOURE WELCOME

[Rachel Zader @RachelZader]

Fun fact, the Night Watchman hypothesis of ADHD states that ADHD people have later circadian rhythms and have traits that are helpful in emergencies because some proportion of people needed to be up late, alert, protecting the group. In other words, ADHD may be an evolutionary adaptation.

[Rachel Zader @RachelZader]

Fun fact, the Night Watchman hypothesis of ADHD states that ADHD people have later circadian rhythms and have traits that are helpful in emergencies because some proportion of people needed to be up late, alert, protecting the group. In other words, ADHD may be an evolutionary adaptation.

[J.T. Alexander @JTAlexander]

Yeah, and when you invent the telephone you can pick your own damn code, too.

[Indian Princess ೀ @DuskyPrincess_0]

"Am I trippin?" and it’s a smoking hot woman lol

[Breesh @ZLacet]

Double or nothing:

I lost the first bet, so I owe you $100. We run it back. If I lose again, I owe you $200. If I win, my $100 is wiped and we're even. Double… or nothing.

By y'all's logic, the person who won the first bet would end up owing money if he lost the second one.

[Trey the Explainer @Trey_Explainer]

In Ancient Rome a disapproval this high would literally get you hurled into the Tiber

[Bangkok Fumiko @BangkokFumiko]

crazy how in some parallel universe speed just fucking died right here

[MayoIsSpicyy @Mayoisspicyy]

Never forget that Kash Patel is covering
up the largest sex-trafficking
pedophile ring in American history.

[CaoSlayer ー Gunlance Unionist @CaoSlayerGL]

*Puts on tin-fold
They are porting this just now so it counts as use of the Nemesis system patent so they can keep it for more time.

[Quadcarl @Quadcarl]

I’m old enough to remember when our president imported a bunch of mystery meat from an unannounced country.