m

naachna pasand hay

[m @jhoolaravan]

@nom_nom_nomm Pls share details on this

[Rafay @RafayisTarnishd]

no amount of mean humour will compensate for the void left behind by everyone choosing others over you because youre fundamentally an unlikeable person btw

[m @jhoolaravan]

How to eat cinnabon without becoming a fat fuck

[m @jhoolaravan]

@bluetwizlerr I would pay in limbs for this recipie

[m @jhoolaravan]

Bc uncle status actual wala anay wala hay ab tou

[. @geronimouh]

Pakistani girlies didn't want 'broke' boys and are now losing it that the only available options are 32 yr old "uncles"

🤣🤣🤣

[m @jhoolaravan]

Real. Who wanna find out

[Fatima Shah @fatimazyhra]

he's single in his late twenties for a reason

[m @jhoolaravan]

Found it

[aimen @nom_nom_nomm]

for those of you living in pakistan and looking to trade in the US financial markets, get your brokerage account with IKBR. They’ve removed the PDT rule requirement, and now you can trade unlimited with as little as $2,000 equity - no need to wait for cash settlement under T+1

[m @jhoolaravan]

There was a post on my tl about investing in US markets from pakistan kisi kou nazar aye tou bhejay mujhey

[m @jhoolaravan]

The calories in a pecanbon….

[m @jhoolaravan]

Is this trying to ragebait me

[m @TwaddaPiyo]

@ single oomfs in their late 20s, how are u guys meeting people? Dating apps? Having friends set u up? Arranged marriage setups? Or have we just given up?

[a 🦖 @notabeercompany]

usamah ibn zayd (ra) killed a man in battle that accepted islam moments before his death, he claimed the guy only did so to save his life. upon learning what his companion did, rasoolullah ﷺ asked usamah (ra): “did you open his heart to see if he was sincere?”

[m @jhoolaravan]

12 saal drive karnay kay baad aaj license banwa liya hay

[m @jhoolaravan]

Shaadi tou honi nai phir k2 basecamp karlain?

[m @jhoolaravan]

The world of fashion is exactly what everyone thinks it is

[ayesha @verymastikhor]

is hussain rehar gay?

[m @jhoolaravan]

@andthevoices Real of u

[m @jhoolaravan]

Saw one of the first women i ever had a crush on…still gave me butterflies

[m @jhoolaravan]

@bluetwizlerr Apko tweets say tou lagta hay ur actively avoiding dil ki games 🧐

[m @jhoolaravan]

Funny how every funeral brings a new perspective to life

[m @jhoolaravan]

This cant be real

[Ali Moni, Esq. @AliMoniEsq]

Every attorney has a line they never expected to say out loud.

Mine was: "Your Honor, the OnlyFans account is actually a marital asset."

The husband wanted half.

The wife insisted it was "personal expression" and therefore off-limits.

She also insisted it barely made any money.

We requested the 1099s.

It was making more than my entire firm.

Opposing counsel looked at the income figures and visibly reconsidered his hourly rate.

We hired a valuation expert who, with an entirely straight face, explained subscriber churn, projected brand growth, and the economic value of her "top 0.3%" badge.

The judge asked if we could use a different term than "Thirst Empire" in the record.

We could not.

The husband wanted an ongoing cut of future revenue.

The wife said she'd rather delete the account.

Our expert confirmed that nuking it would destroy a 8-figure asset.

The courtroom went quiet while everyone processed that sentence.

We settled: she kept the account, bought him out with a lump-sum payment, and signed a clause promising never to use his likeness or name in any content.

As we left, he asked if he could at least get a free subscription.

No.

He has to pay.