Jeremy howe

[han 🍌⭐️⭐️🦇 @aghoulishgal]

I’m being drafted

[eggnog @sdhgsdlfighs]

why do all cops get mad as hell when you try to take their gun 😭😭😭😭😭

[airi 𝜗℘ @4irellee]

you ask me a dumbass question in this heat and we both dying btw

[micheal @godsb0y]

two beers on an empty stomach

[krank @Kr4nkk]

Big leagues callin

[Kivvy Cat! @KivvyCat]

Pimp my ride was so fucking funny cause a car would come in with busted suspension and they would put 4 ps2s and a surfboard in it then not fix the suspension

[Pilgrim @VLONEPREDATOR]

big week for cruise ships

[turd @goonageddon]

my broke buddy got twins on the way and he hit a $400 parlay the other night and ordered a parrot online

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

Corporate will really have you (25) beefing with a 55 year old man at 9am

[Jared “Ghost Dog” Denney @PlayaJared]

Small business owners get sooo pissed when you crash your car into their store

[misto @mistowho]

went into dominoes and said "pizza pizza" they shot me in the chest with a rifle

[Definitely Nick @other_st_nick]

Bro wait until you have a Dr. Pepper it’s even better

[big content guy @bigcontentguy]

watching my dumbass nephew struggle to find an easter egg that’s literally in the bush he’s looking at

[Jahmeir D. ✭ @JDCowboys2]

Would’ve turned into the malice at the palace if I got a chili chili cheese double footlong dropped on my neck

[☔ @Whotfismick]

“Press R3”

8 year old me:

[Neet @neet_sol]

Sorry I missed your work call earlier today. I was sitting on the couch with the phone in my hand watching it ring

[TB @90zTai]

for 60k a month id rock ecko unlimited everyday

[𝑱𝒐𝒓𝒐🪼 @JoroJrn]

Cereal be good as hell every 200 weeks

[Gain of Fauci @DschlopesIsBack]

The United States should surrender immediately