jill

i wrote a book for insane people

[jill @jillgutowitz]

hello i lost access to my other account because i got a new phone and had 2 factor authentication on and nobody works at twitter support anymore so nobody will answer me and i’ll likely never recover that account :)))) this is me now

[Losing it @prophethusband]

Me: (Mumbling as boss approaches my desk) i’ll kill myself in front of you if you ask me to do a single thing I swear to god
Boss: Hey can you email me that thing
Me: Oh for sure playa. No doubt

[jill @jillgutowitz]

Well

[jill @jillgutowitz]

you’re laughing. taylor swift is performing new romantics tonight and you’re laughing

[jill @jillgutowitz]

crazy how much you pay for a seat at eras tour only to leave your body and hover over the stadium for 3.5 hours

[jill @jillgutowitz]

scientists need to research why so many men from the east coast moved to colorado to grow long hair

[jill @jillgutowitz]

@joshgondelman damn unfollowing now...

[jill @jillgutowitz]

it’s weird how there’s no platform anymore where you can follow the people and things you want to see and then what you see on the platform is just those people and things

[Taylor Swift @taylorswift13]

get in the car it’s august

[jill @jillgutowitz]

girl do u have to let it linger wtf

[jill @jillgutowitz]

me watching two cars struggling to merge: oh my god FIGURE IT OUT

me driving:

[jill @jillgutowitz]

kiss me hard before you go… summertime sadness

[jill @jillgutowitz]

this tweet will be studied when a future civilization uncovers what humans were talking about while boiling alive in the climate apocalypse. a sacred text

[raelle fakis @lafruttacaduta]

she definitely studied kunt fu at the university of servington for a year or two

[jill @jillgutowitz]

having an “i’m just ken” kind of day

[jill @jillgutowitz]

MOTHERQUAKE

[CNN @CNN]

After two nights of earth-shaking dancing at Swift’s Seattle “Eras” tour concert at Lumen Field, enthusiastic Swifties caused seismic activity equivalent of a 2.3 magnitude earthquake, according to seismologist Jackie Caplan-Auerbach https://t.co/oISwMSMYkz

[jill @jillgutowitz]

his job is beach

[jill @jillgutowitz]

his job is beach

[jill @jillgutowitz]

what they better be DUNE is releasing DUNE 2 a lot sooner or i’ll be DUNE time

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

‘DUNE 2’ could potentially be delayed to sometime between March - June of 2024.

No decision has been made yet.

(Source: Deadline)

[jill @jillgutowitz]

how the email found me