jillian

i write books sometimes | she/her

[jillian @jilliancares]

I WROTE A BOOK!!!

you can purchase it on amazon as a paperback here: https://t.co/l1LsleYtoL

and as an ebook here: https://t.co/ZkEYrZMHAw

[jillian @jilliancares]

i think i’m Also gonna make the move to bluesky ✌️ im jilliancares over there as well! :)

[Dr Grayfang @DrGrayfang]

Me after saying “no updates from me” on my only call of the day

[Amanda Wong @amandawtwong]

Maybe we were too hard on JJ Abrams for "Somehow Palpatine returned."

[‎ ۠ @G0THAMVENGEANCE]

libbed out so hard i thought american people had empathy and common sense

[alex @aloomf]

the only thing america hates more than a rapist is a woman

[Guilty as Slade? ✨🤌🏼 @Jesse_bslade]

this legit must be how katniss felt when they made her do the hunger games a second time

[Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE]

Adding "...If you even care" to the bottom of every work email.

[Katie Rich @katiemaryrich]

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

[jillian @jilliancares]

caroline: i think i want to have kids because i want to experience christmas again

my mom: not a good enough reason. you could do that with a puppy!

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

actually few things more embarrassing than when you’ve had like One drink and then you trip or spill something and everyone’s like damnnn she must be fucked up! no, you degenerates. I am just clumsy! may a beautiful woman not simply be clumsy these days???

[☔ @Whotfismick]

when you’re comfortable in bed and it starts raining

[Tina Sieben @wnbawife]

Why does a can of biscuits open like that. Is life not scary enough

[☔ @Whotfismick]

when you set an alarm for 7am, but also for 7:05, 7:10, 7:15 and 7:20

[Michael Irving @MikeIrvo]

The audio log you find in a trashed office in a sci-fi horror game:

[brandon @BR0IG]

REDBULLS ARE HEALTHY

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

logging into my work email that hasn’t been touched since before Christmas

[Pastrami Mommy @ewelannawhite]

you should be able to call off work for having teeth falling out dreams the night before

[ceili @almondpastries]

another day as a big girl with a big girl job https://t.co/zI5NgzEpZk

[tyler wells @tylerdw]

A meeting? It’s December 18th and you’re scheduling a meeting????