☽‧˙⋆˚｡⋆

[☽‧˙⋆˚｡⋆ @jilliiann]

oh sorry I was too busy hanging out with DUA LIPA last night my bad

[Dr. Antifa @fartj0ke]

Being a girlfriend is kind of like being a unpaid creative director

[ًًneenee ⚢ @yoonchaand]

sometimes i talk to my mother and it feels like she's in a prison of her own making

[manic nixon dream girl @kennixonette]

squidward is an ageing conservative homosexual, probably with a catholic background. you can tell he resents spongebob for being openly femme even though he himself is a bitchy quеenу gay guy who's too bald and poorly dressed to even be charming with it.

[kenzi @kenzianidiot]

i cannot emphasize enough how i would break every bone in my body 45 seconds into wearing these

[໊ @wynavira]

deep rooted respect for women who openly get mad and are okay with being perceived as bitchy

[Solyricon @Solyricon]

If you’re a lover girl you HAVE to practice detachment or you’ll die!!!!

[Thee Aries @GiftedAsia]

Every time I taste sushi I wanna backflip off a table and land in a dougie

[𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚊 🌱 @gaiaofflinee]

hey do u kno that feeling when a coworker or person you’ve never spoken to gives you the nicest compliment ever and in that moment you realize that even if you think you’re invisible, you’re simply not and not only are people perceiving you but they’re doing so in a positive light and bc your inner voice is so negative you’re just stunned and in disbelief that someone could say such kind things to you and about you and you think about the compliment for the rest of the day into the night. like do u kno that feeling.

[GoliathFan1952 @ByYourLogic]

My favorite genre of SVU episode is the kind where there’s a clearly evil child who’s killed 70,000 dogs and cats, but their idiot parents are like “we’ve been telling him to use mindfulness :)” There’s so many of those. They should just make Law & Order: Evil Child Unit

[erika @yeeeerika]

i said it was my favorite movie i didn't say it was good

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

I love the fact the rage baiting is an universal concept for fun

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

I am in a monogamous heterosexual relationship and you’re welcome. One man off the street thanks to me.

[pdawg @707Pdawg]

hate when mfs make me be mean, i had a pocket full of sunshine til u did that

[trash jones @jzux]

a poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me

[dj pauly d @smellagillis]

$18 cocktails taste good as fuck when ur not buying them. like u know what ? i actually CAN taste the ginseng and pear essence

[al bedazzle @_YOUNGBABY_]

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set

[ᶜᵒᵘʳᵗ @tropicaIghost]

i didn’t lie i was doing a bit