Kotaro Katsura

Fly into Forever 🐍

- 30 - they/them

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

They say success is the best revenge, and im well on my way. Here's a little playlist for everyone to enjoy as I grow :)

https://t.co/2TpwuWOKRD

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

And here is the text in question that im sure he never saw, only because I want to drive home that I left him BECAUSE OF HIMSELF.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

Cause at the end of the day, its not about my sweetheart, nor is it about any of the excuses my ex wants to pull out of his ass. He is very deeply in denial about it but I know wholeheartedly why I left him, and that reason is - him.

And nothing else. And no one else.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

Things may not work out between me and him in the end, and perhaps my ex is right and ill die alone and loveless. But ill still be happier facing my death bed by myself than I ever would be facing it with my ex.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

I don't know how i managed to bag such a cute guy but being tangled in him while he sighs and tells me how comfortable I am and how much he likes spending time with me, having him be vulnerable around me in ways hes not even with his own family...

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

I may not have the best body. I havent for a while. My ex was accepting of it.. however, not only is my soft boy accepting of it, he wants to help me change and improve it. And that means more to me than just accepting it.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

I was in a pretty dark place the past few days but sitting next to a waterfall in a softly lit forest while this insanely cute guy leans in to make out with me snapped me out of it pretty quickly.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

I mean, I also hope he ends up with syphilis, goes into denial about it, and ends up going blind, but thats beside the point.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

I hope my ex goes through enough ass that he finds some good enough to forget me and leave me alone. Im sure if I talked to him now he'd tell me im the worst lay hes ever had.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

There's no bad history between us. He sees me as I am, not as the high schooler he met, or the whore who made a mistake so many years ago. I can just be who I am, and not who I used to be. And thats an indescribable feeling.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

But then I realized that... it doesn't matter. I didnt leave him for anyone else, and im not with anyone else just to spite him. Im spending my time with a man I adore because... I adore him. And I can just.. do that now.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

Sometimes I catch myself wondering if it would hurt him more to think that im fucking everything with two legs, or knowing that im focusing on only one sweet boy now.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

That's where it started. And honestly, thats where it should have ended, as well. Instead of wasting 10 more years for nothing.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

Granted. I know some of these issues stem from myself. As much as he loves to say I cant take responsibility, I do. I know at the end of the day our marriage falling apart ultimately can be traced back to my having an affair.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

And then i further realized that now that hes done a complete 180 on everything he ever told me over the course of the last 15 years - our entire relationship has been nothing but him trying to placate me and telling me what I want to hear.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

And then i realized that its not the sex, its the lying. Just like when I found out he was watching prn after swearing up and down that he DID NOT DO THAT EVER. I dont have an issue with prn. I've always been open that I watch it myself. It was the lying about it.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

Which i was a little confused and annoyed at. Why should I be hurt when sex is something I've been actively trying to avoid with him for over a year? Honestly, i used to hope he WOULD cheat so id have an easy out. So why should I care??

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

Im actually not at all surprised hes on tinder, "to find friends". I have to assume hes going on a sex binge to try to cope/make up for lost time and at first it kinda hurt. Well. It did hurt. It was insanely funny at first, but then it hurt.

[Kotaro Katsura @jizzcore]

But, in actually being able to spend time with people I enjoy, it has allowed me to think..