Dreams

There's tape over my cameras, but the blinds are open

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

AOC: Im President because youve run my social media so well

Me southern accent: not a problem mam

AOC: the idea to put stuff in brackets to show that youre doing it. Its genius

Me: god is a genius mam

AOC steps close: if I was in brackets what would you do to me

Me: no mam

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Everything fun they tell you not to do. As a child it’s running in the pool. They blow the whistle. best part about pool is running as fast as you can chasing your friends. Jumping in. When you’re an adult they pull the same trick. dont drink on benzos. No opiates in the hot tub

[Dreams @jizzfacts]

Shut up bimbo

[Dreams @jizzfacts]

@wonton_sarah Lmao

[Dreams @jizzfacts]

@wonton_sarah Mid-wit supremacy 💪💅

[ཊལབསརངཧ @David_Rudnick]

I don't know why opening a beautiful cathedral that took 100 years to build by doing a drone show of is architect soyfacing at it is so unbearably funny to me, but it is, sorry

[Dreams @jizzfacts]

@wonton_sarah Wanted to go with Good Night, Sleep Well, [name]! but that's too informal

[Dreams @jizzfacts]

@wonton_sarah Wishing you a most restorative night

[lorin 🇵🇸 @nirol__]

There were only a few dozen people in the audience, but every single one of them went out and formed a clandestine mind control program

[Dreams @jizzfacts]

@oceanfearer I've enjoyed following you and sad to see you go but i get it this place is a hole anymore i hate it here. I don't have instagram but I'm on bluesky ugh same stupid handle, if you don't have that, good luck with everything

[Dreams @jizzfacts]

This shit is all so fuckin corny shut the fuck up nerd no you're not

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

JUST IN: Anthropic co-founder Jack Clark reportedly warned new recruits to “get hobbies that aren’t computers,” saying the company is building a “superhuman coder with nation-state hacking capabilities.”

[щ @Circle10]

sitting down in the DMV and taking out a Mr. Potato Head and manipulating it and moving the parts around as i wait. intermittently muttering “fuck” and “goddammit”.

[Dreams @jizzfacts]

Wish I wasn't such fuckin idiot 👍✌️

[Dreams @jizzfacts]

@STATter911 @BoontaVista

[National Institute of Standards and Technology @NIST]

We spotted this on our Maryland campus. Our researchers are anything but sticks in the mud.

[Dreams @jizzfacts]

Hmm but i usually slept on the left, which was always further from the door. Not up to me that my partners put their beds like that. Hmm or maybe, evo-psychly, i CHOSE partners that did that... Hmm . hmmmm

[Dreams @jizzfacts]

@dodgonkulator I don't think literally anyone can. All or nothing

[Dreams @jizzfacts]

@mountainlex Generation titles can be useful shorthand when discussing historical trends, but as soon as someone starts to use them to generalize their gripes? That's boomer shit. Uh oh wait

[フロップデザイン⌘フォントデザイナー @flopdesign]

いろんなロマンがギュッと詰まっている安中市の「らせん魚道」。5階建てのループした建物は大迫力。まさかここを魚が昇っていくなんて信じられません。

[~prester pop~ @exMalwa]

I don’t like the taste or effects of most caffeine, but there is something quite beautiful about red bull in a fine glass.