Jonny Svarzbein

I'm a Writer/Performer/Nerd at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre - Los Angeles. @ucbtla

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

@MatthewBerryTMR Which Lions RB is the one to hold on to for the rest of the season?

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

@joestarr187 @kmay Right on, Champ!🤓🏆

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

I feel like half the Dads in New Jersey look like thumbs. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Tournament of Nerds @TournamentNerds]

15th Anniversary Show @JoinTheDynasty this Saturday May 13th 10pm with @MosesStorm @msdanifernandez @TheRealMorrison @phillamarr @MaggieMaeFish @halrudnick @alana_johnston @markeiamccarty @ShaneHartline @jjscomedy @keithtellsjokes Jonah Ray, Marc Andreyko, Justin Donaldson & more

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

I’m tweeting so that my account doesn’t get deleted for inactivity.

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

@XFLSeaDragons @XFL2023 @XFLDefenders @AudiField 29-26

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

@mikeleffingwell https://t.co/CNXmVikXXr

[Ryan Hitchcock @rjameshitchcock]

@FernieCommaAlex To this day the thing that sticks in my mind the most about Seeso is the slogan @jjscomedy came up with for free: “If you Seeso, say so!”

[My Neighbors Are Dead @mydeadneighbors]

World War Z has hit @mydeadneighbors! @adampeacock13 heads to Arizona to talk to Saul Weitzman (@jjscomedy), the Rabbi of the only all zombie congregation Synagogue in Tucson.

Don’t miss it: https://t.co/4jN25Cjr14

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

I have a good joke about sand, but its very dry humor.

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

I have a good deodorant joke but it has to be told very quickly to work.

Its a Speed Schtick. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Conner McCabe @Conner_McCabe]

I bullied @jjscomedy into guesting on @CallMeBYourGame where I got him to admit all kinds of goss. Enjoy!

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

Hi @MichaelBuble . My wife and i are big fans and had a quick and very specific Q about the Hamm & Bublé sketch on SNL. Was the sung line, “Oh for days” improvised? Specifically the “Oh” in the beginning of the line? Your answer will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

Stuck Suez Canal Boat is the Tiger King of 2021.

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

@tomskerrittfan1 Same

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

Everytime i make a shredded cabbage side dish, something goes wrong. I guess that’s just Murphy’s slaw. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

Maybe the guy that wrote down the Mayan calendar made a typo and switched the 1 and the 2 at the end? 🤷🏻‍♂️

[drewfromtv @DrewFromTV]

It doesn’t take “all the police” to make the whole force look corrupt. It just takes a small group of them.
Any Marines remember the phrase “It’s always that 10% that make it harder for everyone else”?

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

Santa Claus will be a COVID super spreader 😔🎅🏼🚫

[Jonny Svarzbein @jjscomedy]

“Okay, so you’re the female ruler of an empire. 🎶 That don’t Empress me much. 🎶 ”

- Punia Twain