jkkoros™

loyal to the core.

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@tonykaromo @MarthaKarua This one cannot even a parliamentary sit

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@edwinsifuna I think you're in Parliament, raise those issues there,
don't disturb our new year party with what we don't have power to change

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@HonMoses_Kuria Na wakalenjin walikula ya nani jameni 🤔

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@AokoOtieno_ Bitter bitch

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@wnyakera Don't forget that it was very impossible for UDA to win Mbeere and Malava.
So don't reason that way, otherwise mtajipata mkisongesha hopes zenu Hadi 2032 tena

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

Akiamungu, sijawai Cheka namna hii

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

His name is Money Bior, the only politician in Kaspul who campaigns with a menu instead of a manifesto. For weeks, he has been feeding voters like they are guests in a cooking show. The villagers enjoyed a three course meal from chefs imported from a Nairobi 5-star hotel, food was so hot and delicious that even the village mutinas lined up with voter IDs.

And for those who preferred liquid development, mheshimiwa opened a whole bar on his bill. People were drinking like they were trying to irrigate their intestines. For those men whose wives have been rationing the food that faces the earth at home, mhesh went out of his way & brought yellow yellow damsels from Homabay town.

These ladies came glowing like a new WiFi routers, distributing full network to the hungry men. All this at the small price of a vote. Then voting day arrived. Mheshimiwa’s team decided to motivate citizens with Ksh 1,000,,, money that disappeared faster than promises in a manifesto.

The plan was simple, feed them, water them, tempt them, pay them,,, then win by a landslide. When results came in, mheshimiwa saw dust, smoke, fog and heartbreak all combined.

He didn’t even come third,, he came a distant fourth, collecting a humble 526 votes, including the ones from his chefs, his bouncers, and maybe two Homabay damsels out of pity. The humiliation embraced him like a wet bedsheet.

Out of pure anger and the need to teach these professional money eaters a lesson,,, mhesh called for a Thanksgiving ceremony at his mansion. People arrived smiling, expecting chicken, pilau, and maybe round two of coastal ladies.

But immediately they stepped in, the bouncer closed the gate with the confidence of Gachagua, then started distributing blows of national importance. The beating was thorough, some received uppercuts that reset their M-Pesa PINs, others got “flying kick ndira” that deconstructed their dental formula.

As we speak, several victims are in Kaspul District Hospital sipping glucose water through their veins like Jaba juice. The bouncers truly gave them a free deep tissue massage, the kind that rearranges your organs alphabetically.

Let this be a warning to those who enjoy free money from waheshimiwa,,, one day, after eating their money, they may serve you a beating that will fast-track your journey to Sayuni without a return ticket. Chesaa!!

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@NahashonKimemia Anything Gachagua, luos won't buy. I mean as long as Gachagua is the spokesperson in united Opposition, I tell you for free: luos won't buy it!

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@A_Njambi Now say it again and aloud without crying

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@Gitaooh @MwangiHub And they will rig 2027 election with a lot of ease, and there is nothing we can do

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@MachariaNjeru Don't lie!
Entitlement will bring kikuyus down. So you didn't vote for Raila, or even if you did, you knew very well Karua would take over the soonest

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@FGaitho237 You have a special place in hell

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@NjiruAdv We don't spit, we share with our ancestors. Get facts, senj!

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@AokoOtieno_ And this is the person you are singing WANTAM to?
My people, just braze for another 7 years of him, aki, zoea tu

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@Ithurts42 Them mushrooms

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@AokoOtieno_ Luos don't die naturally. Every death has a hidden hand behind it. Kama sio kuuwawa, ni kurogwa.

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@Safaricom_Care safaricom, I bought an All-in-One monthly bundle for 1k on 7/10/2025.
I don't make a lot of calls, but how my 400 minutes got depleted in under 2 weeks is still a mystery.

I don't believe used up this minutes, my number 0720090115

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@paulinenjoroge You can afford private insurance, why bother with SHA?
Wewe enda Kings College hospital kule UAE

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@Igeri3 @paulinenjoroge Lipa, wewe ni dynasty

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@FGaitho237 Did you see them looting or burning property?
Goon!

[jkkoros™ @jkkoros]

@imbankke @KiptooK08288536 Seems it may not be reliable to keep money in account, coz when you want to withdraw and pay some bills, the App is not working...kuchoka nayo