JoeyLorraine👽

"My soul comes from better worlds and I have an incurable homesickness of the stars." ✨

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

When you show your best friend what you bought for your boyfriend 😂

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

And i would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home...

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

It's that anniversary again. This year, I apologise for killing someone who didn't die during the #BattleofHogwarts, but who laid down his life to save the people who'd win it. I refer, of course, to Dobby the house elf.

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

I came home from work, took off my pants, passed out and just woke up in time to go back to work. 😂😂

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

Scott: *makes eating gestures to tell me he’s hungry without interrupting my conversation*
Me: “I don’t have a boyfriend, I have a child!”
Scott:”.... you’re not taking very good care of it.” 😂😂😂

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

I drink ONE shaker of mango margaritas at lunch and Scott is convinced I’m drunk. No. I’m buzzed and full and wanna watch YouTube. Just enjoy it.

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

Every time I come to scotts house, I lose a tunnel while sleeping. I could sleep at my house all week long and my tunnels will stay put but, I get in scotts bed and BAM. Gone. 🙄

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

The Michalec family has lost a second son to suicide and my heart is absolutely broken for them 💔

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

Our new manager at work: do you have any questions for me?
Our CSM: do you have any dogs?

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

I swear to god I’ve never met a more infuriating human than my sister. She makes me want to lash out irrationally at least three times a day.

[Zach Kornfeld @korndiddy]

Happy 4/20 to everyone looking to relax, have fun, or get a little weird.

Happier 4/20 to those who rely on weed to medicate chronic pain, anxiety, nausea, or anything else.

Happiest 4/20 to food delivery services - you the real mvp today.

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

It’s funny how sometimes tweets just align in your favor. @mognet_2013 😂

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

@bart_johnson my high school is putting on HSM for this years spring play and my gov’t teacher will be playing coach Bolton. So excited to see it!

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

I get along really well with one of my coworkers but we are very rarely scheduled together. So whenever she sees me she gasps and runs in for a hug ☺️❤️

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

Scott’s birthday isn’t until the May 4th but he got his presents yesterday, I was too excited and couldn’t wait. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[JoeyLorraine👽 @jldavis13]

I’m funny dammit.

[Johnny Sonic @nonleaguesonic]

Girls will pre-miss you, im leaving in 6 hours fam why are you sad already?