J Luke Westbrook

Colossians 1:17

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

As a joke, I put my friend's 4-year-old daughter's bow in my beard and asked her how I looked. Without hesitation, she said, "You look beautiful" and tbh that's the kind of support I need in my life.

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

That terrifying moment when you go to the bathroom while on a work call and forget if you muted your mic

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

If so, where can I find that person because I just...I have a lot of thoughts.

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

I mean, is someone out on the sidewalk just accosting people and asking them, "Excuse me, could you tell me what is something that a dog might do to a man while he's sleeping that the man might think is being done by his wife?"

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

I mean, is someone out on the sidewalk just accosting people and asking them, "Excuse me, could you tell me what is something that a dog might do to a man while he's sleeping that the man might think is being done by his wife?"

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

All I'm saying is I feel like I'm old enough to have been surveyed by the Family Feud people and am kinda disappointed that I haven't been. That's all.

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

All I'm saying is I feel like I'm old enough to have been surveyed by the Family Feud people and am kinda disappointed that I haven't been. That's all.

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

Who exactly are the Family Feud people surveying? The show's been running for quite some time, and I've never heard of anyone being surveyed by the Family Feud folks.

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

Who exactly are the Family Feud people surveying? The show's been running for quite some time, and I've never heard of anyone being surveyed by the Family Feud folks.

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

"anonymous" (1999)

[Discount🍉Emma🍉Stone (Taylor's Version) @Buffalojilll]

*BREAKING* Shortly after divorce announcement, Jason Momoa seen holding hands with Pete Davidson outside popular LA eatery

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

I was today years old when I learned that Sean is the Irish spelling of John.

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

Riiiiiight, just a rock. I’m with you 😉😏

[The New York Times @nytimes]

A blurry image of something on the moon that China’s space program had called the "mystery hut" was just a rock, new images show. https://t.co/rFEMBseyHB

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

The CDC said sandals and socks are okay but crocs are still off limits

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

It’s finally here. Happy birthday, Ted

[Is Today Ted Danson's Birthday? @TedDansonBDay]

Today is Ted Danson’s birthday.

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

they making cream out of everything these days

like? i saw a can of “cream of chicken” yesterday? is that even possible? has science gone too far?

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

i hope it's my xbox 360 that i lost 10 years ago

[summer 🖕 @salesforcechild]

i hope the cube on the moon is something really scary that changes the trajectory of all our lives

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

$16 bottle of whiskey: what am i, a peasant?

[trash jones @jzux]

$16 bottle of wine: outrageous. what am i, a prince?

$16 cocktail: I guess this seems about right

[Akilah Green @akilahgreen]

The older you get, the less people you let know when you're in town.

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

i know im late to this but i can't believe i just got rick rolled by ted lasso

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

getting a caricature drawn of yourself is wild like why am i paying 30 bucks to have someone highlight the physical features im most self conscious about i can look in a mirror for free

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

😂 Twitter taking shots at FB

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

Dear colleague, I’m sorry it took me 10 minutes to respond to your IM. I was pooping.

[J Luke Westbrook @jlwestbrook]

“I’m not getting the vaccine! The government is just using it to track us!” he yelled into his smartphone that knew his precise location, purchasing habits, blood type, credit card numbers, future hopes and dreams, and deepest fears.