John Merritt

Actual human being

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

@SarahSpain @TedLasso @AppleTV @RexChapman WTF! I want/need immediately!

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

@petegenovese @PorkRollTruck I definitely hope Slater's Deli and @PorkRollTruck are finalists!

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

Me: "Sweetie who makes your leggings?"

@Merritt_sm: "Victoria Secret. Why?"

Me: "Because I'd like to write them a thank you letter."

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

@JasonIsbell "Something more than....Me?"

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Sarah Merritt @Merritt_sm]

After 5 yrs of longing, my @AdventHealthCFL BFF gets her adopted baby from @AdventHealthKC, and become a family of 3 today at @KCIAirport this afternoon! Now that is #WholeCare! Who’s going to help today at @KCIAirport @SouthwestAir for me?! #WholeCareExperience #AdoptionSuccess

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

@JasonIsbell @theryman I think you're onto something with shaking up the lineups...especially adding a punk band like DP. A tour with you and with a punk band would be pretty damn sweet.

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

@JasonIsbell His pops is a white dude trying to be a pumpkin so...

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

@flwlsslvto @sleighbells @ddlovato So a very public theft should be handled privately? Hard to follow that logic.

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

@LeBatardShow At The Church of Gronk @JayGlazer is Event Coordinator but secretly wants to lead the band currently fronted by @Bharper3407

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

"I want you to be my floppy disk... So I can flip you over" @midnight #GeekPickUpLines #creepygeekversion

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

"If you were mine...I'd definitely shoot first" #GeekPickUpLines

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

Wanna see my midichlorians? #GeekPickUpLines

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

@marcmaron please interview @NekoCase

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

My stylist went a little heavy on the bronzer #RichPeopleProblems

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

The nanny's boobs are starting to sag #RichPeopleProblems

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

My cash smells weird #RichPeopleProblems

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

Amex splinters #RichPeopleProblems

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

@midnight "Man throws toilet at ___" - Shit he just took on floor. #PointsMe

[John Merritt @jmavnerd]

Nancy Grace vericose veins #WhyDidIGoogle @midnight

[Andy Kindler @AndyKindler]

Without looking I bet that @rickygervais has referenced atheism and/or not caring what people think about him in the last 24 hours.