Micah, please!

Cool for cats.

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

Hey, swingin' music lovers. I'm not the festival you're attending. Why not just go ahead and tag @thejmblya instead?

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

My wife's hosting book club, so the kids and I have to make ourselves scarce for a while. There's nothing good at the movies and I was at a loss. The Girl suggested, "Let's do what you did when you were my age: hang out at the mall." The '90s really are back!

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

Our family subsists solely on sugar now.

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

It's a Festivus Eve miracle! My Christmas mix is finally done. Enjoy.

And if you don't dig on Spotify, here's a YouTube playlist. Another Festivus Eve miracle! https://t.co/1ahNYCParP

https://t.co/wHkQpdZc4c

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

Micah Tries Holiday Food on Clearance: Norman Rockwell's favorite pizza wasn't terrible, but I don't think I'll feel the need to ever experience it again.

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

Por exemplo, here is this year's worst new Christmas song so far. As someone elbow-deep in December retail, I appreciate the sentiment, but it is so cringe, as the kids say.
https://t.co/uhJZxk3Xqy

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

Oh, you proclaimed "Wonderful Christmastime" to be the worst Christmas song ever? You're so edgy and have so many interesting opinions!

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

Clearly you haven't listened to that much Christmas music then. Over the years I've consumed an unhealthy amount. That Paul McCartney song ain't the Beatles, but it's fine, really. Trust me, there are far, far worse songs out there.

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

I abhor and condemn political violence, buuuuuut...
https://t.co/2L0XBzWPhY

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

Thanks to my lawsuit over their milkshakes not containing any actual eggnog, this year Dairy Queen has given them a more accurate name and description. You're welcome.

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

Halloween is almost over.

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

The stupidest things make me laugh. Case in point...

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

This is the scariest thing I've seen all month.

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

From a male perspective, I'm glad the Heart song about oral sex is "Crazy On You" and not "Barracuda".

[Justin Robert Young @JustinRYoung]

The night the clapter died...

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

As a proud Maxxinista, I feel personally attacked. This is the best time of year for this weirdo aisle, what with all the autumn and Halloween stuff.

[Charlie Kirk @charliekirk11]

You can tell a lot about a person by how they react when someone dies.

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

I married into this.

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

I finished the second season of Severance last night and haven't been this upset with a finale since the Sopranos. No amount of Mr. Milchick dancing to a marching band can redeem it. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

[Micah, please! @jmblya]

Sometimes you have to travel far from home to discover yourself. For instance, it wasn't until I went to a tacky tourist shop here at the beach that I found out I absolutely needed chicken and waffles-themed swim trunks.