Jordan

Liverpool // Patriots // Celtics // USMNT

[Jordan @jms23__]

@geoffkeighley

[austerity is theft @wideofthepost]

you guys are arguing before scotus right now that your own top goal scorer shouldn’t be eligible for US citizenship

[Opta Analyst @OptaAnalyst]

No club has had a bigger hand in the goals at the 2026 World Cup than Liverpool.

Their players have combined for 12 goal involvements so far (4 goals, 8 assists) - comfortably the most of any club in the world, with Bayern Munich and Real Madrid next best on 8.

[Michael O’Brien @DrOBrienMD]

Y’all, not to be a huge nerd but for the reflecting pool you would need a minimum of about 8,000 liters of 12% hydrogen peroxide to reach the 50 parts per million concentration to kill algae…

Is this what happens when you have 0 scientists in your administration?

[Mark Hammond @MarkHam80780803]

“I have totally defeated you and also transferred $300 billion dollars into your bank account”

[Jordan @jms23__]

@Ibra_official it’s all good, we don’t respect him either!

[Michael Davies @embassydavies]

Davo’s still way too early World Cup Power Rankings II:
1. USA (as the Great Prophet Lalas decreed, the greatest half of SOCCAH played by any SOCCAH team ever*)
2. Paraguay (scored against the USA)
3. Germany (scored 7 past an island with more feral goats than male adults)
4. Sweden (it takes a special group of footballers to find that kind of form under Graham Potter)
5. Australia (also good at cricket)
6. Mexico (number one in partying with South Koreans)
7. South Korea (number one in Souths)
8. Scotland (number one in “Lands”, tartan, beer consumption and bagpipes)
9. Ivory Coast (number one in Coasts)
10. Netherlands (number two in lands)
11. Japan (number one in cleaning up after themselves)
12. Brazil
13. Morocco
14. Canada
15. Bosnia
16. Herzegovina
17. Switzerland (number three in lands)
18. Qatar
19. Czechia
20. Ecuador
21. Haiti
22. Turkey (number one in large birds)
23. South Africa (number two in Souths)
24. Tunisia
25. Curaçao (it took me forever to find that little hook under the second c on my keyboard)
26-49. Everyone else and anyone I missed (who on Earth can keep up?)
50. Italy
51-208 The rest of the known world
* in group play, at a World Cup, off the top of his head, in that particular moment

[Megan Townsend @mmtowns]

In the pub before 5, swearing on bbc news, calling out infantino, wearing a shirt and yet debasing your nation… proper football fan that

[Meredith Frost @MeredithFrost]

This is what the northern lights look like from inside a U-2 spy plane at 70,000ft. Incredible photos by Ross Franquemont: https://t.co/88igzFKCg5

[Jordan @jms23__]

@premierleague

[Liverpool FC @LFC]

Always our Egyptian King. Thank you for everything, Mo 👑

[Liverpool FC @LFC]

Liverpool FC has today revealed images of the new permanent memorial at Anfield in tribute to Diogo Jota and his brother André Silva, following their tragic passing last July ❤Liverpool FC has today revealed images of the new permanent memorial at Anfield in tribute to Diogo Jota and his brother André Silva, following their tragic passing last July ❤️

[Jordan @jms23__]

@yunclesage top 3 moment in show history for me 😂

[Jordan @jms23__]

@TheAnfieldWrap

[Ian Turner @IanTurner_]

Best team I’ll ever see.

97 points,European Cup, 99 Points

62 league wins out of 78 games, including a run where they took 103 points from a possible 105.

Undefeated in the league at Anfield (35 wins, 3 draws)

119+ Goal Difference.

[Jordan @jms23__]

@LeBatardShow @MichaelRyanRuiz man I thought dan’s inner monologue was hilarious but holy shit Mike you’ve topped yourself with the sampson one 😂

[The Scientific Lens @LensScientific]

“While spacewalking I realized something, I used to think I was scared of heights but now I know I was just scared of gravity.”

― Artemis II Astronaut Reid Wiseman

[project hail dado ⚢ 🎱 @astrasdoctor]

the crew listening to Kamala Harris vs the crew listening to Donald Trump

[Jordan @jms23__]

@hadesfury88 @denimdre_ @VeryBadSCAVR nah it’s possible, I use a standard xbox controller. you just gotta map multiple inputs to same button

example 1: d-pad ⬆️, double tap d-pad ⬆️, and hold d-pad ⬆️, are mapped to 4, 5, and 6 for me for heals

example 2: while ADS’ing (holding LT), click L or R stick down to lean

[Jordan @jms23__]

every single day is april fool’s day on this shitty misinformation app