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[Ben Obese-Jecty MP @BenObeseJecty]

As a doner kebab connoisseur it’s a relief to find out that it’s goat to be honest.

[GB Politics @GBPolitcs]

🚨NEW: A migrant from Africa has been charged with murder following the discovery of the body of a two-year-old girl in Chertsey, Surrey police have said

He is also charged with rape of a child under 13, and sexual assault of a child under 13

[Andy Bryson @ifellonithonest]

Why? What is achieved for Scots by allowing this?

[The TV Grump @TheTVGrump]

“Bedtime, children”

[Kevin Sorbo @ksorbs]

I don’t think they have mate.

[Signal @signalapp]

Our statement on the UK government’s demand that all content on all devices sold or used in the country be scanned, on the presumption of nudity, using a dystopian combination of age verification and content scanning. This proposal will not safeguard children. It endangers us all.

https://t.co/VdWe9uhi8p

[Rupert Lowe MP @RupertLowe10]

@LincolnWatson86 You're right - in 2026 Britain it makes far more commercial sense to set up a money-laundering vape shop, let illegal migrant men run it and hope the authorities are too scared of being called racist to do anything about it.

[Richard Burton @Ricburton]

@PolitlcsUK Police officer: “Are you injured?”

Man who stabbed the guy on the ground:

“Yeah, I’ve got a swollen eye. Little bruising”

Absolutely insane.

[JFM. @DarcyWAHF]

How is this man allowed to stand in Holyrood with a temporary visa ?

[Spencer Morgan @spencermorgan93]

I live in a country where a man randomly stabs two people and people are more annoyed that the police kicked him after he did so

In a proper country he is eliminated there and then 👍

[Restore Britain @RestoreBritain]

Restore Britain will end all foreign language translation in the public sector, saving hundreds and hundreds of millions.

If you live in our country, you speak our language.

[MwepuMagic @MwepuMagic]

Kanye West pretending to be an Asylum Seeker so he can still headline Wireless

[Rupert Lowe MP @RupertLowe10]

@Keir_Starmer All of a sudden we can decide who gets to enter Britain? Deport the third world rapists, conmen and sex pests before Kanye sodding West.

[Del Souness @DelSouness]

Diddy party goer, Jamie Foxx mentioned in the Epstein files. Johnny Davidson Not in the Epstein files.

[twitch.tv/Limmy @DaftLimmy]

Stupid cunts everywhere

[out of context house m.d. @telyhouse]

House M.D. episode ratings

[Never Again @Never_Again2020]

You're paid an annual salary of £93,904 to represent Coventry South in Parliament. Your responsibility is to your constituents, not criminals who attack policewomen and vandalise RAF airbases.

https://t.co/pJvwZD7mfI

[Rupert Lowe MP @RupertLowe10]

@jeremycorbyn Be more use if the 50 chipped in for a meal deal or two.