J

All views are my own. Retweets are not endorsements. she/her

[Michael @yosoymichael]

Sufjan coming out by dedicating his album to his partner who died earlier this year. I am absolutely not okay. Nowhere near it.

[yammi @sighyam]

here’s a random opinion I remember my granddad had and a fun story I tell almost everyone. 🧵🐵

to summarise, my grandfather thinks that more people should stand their ground and beat up monkeys…. yup

context: in the last half century my grandparents told us that they saw in real time the behavioural changes in monkeys in their area of Thailand.

how before monkeys used to be timid scaredy cats who will merely scream and charge at you as a test on their worst days (usually during the dry summer when food was scarce)

before tourism monkeys would learn that locals WILL whack them on the head, throw things at them and scare them away etc but now they test their luck bc tourists are easily intimidated.

this is why monkeys often attack tourists and they scout for backpacks/approach humans they think have food.

the reward is just way too high and the risk is low for them.

my grandad hypothesised decades ago that the solution isn’t to just stop giving them food (they are intelligent and will rob you)

he made a suggestion to his local council way back in the 80s for the government to deploy guards in tourist heavy areas whose job will be to scare and by extension control monkeys behaviour. call it human x monkey relations if you will

however, this “solution” might put tourists (especially children and the elderly) in more danger as over time the monkeys will be able to distinguish guards from regular tourists and go after the vulnerable groups.

so with that being said my fondest memory of my grandad was listening to his righteous and often comical stance on this super niche subject. I think he may have been autistic.

he would chuckle to himself while saying “you only need to punch them in the face once and they will be scared of you forever I promise”

when me and my brother were 2 and 6 my grandad took us to a national park to prove his theory.

We stopped in the middle of the road beside a large hill face. this exact area is famous for this one particularly massive troop of macaques.

there must’ve been 100 individuals there at least. it was the largest monkey troop I’d ever seen in my life.

my grandad got out of the car and walked up to a group of macaques with a bag of snacks filled with nuts and sweets.

almost immediately the standout largest male with fangs so long they looked like fingers approached him with aggression.

It was then I saw my little 76 year old grandfather punched an animal half his size in its face.

the monkey looked spooked and let out a huge screeched then fled into the dense forest as my grandfather turned around smiling proudly while 30+ onlooking tourists took photos.

My whole family was shook as the entire monkey troop fled and for the remainder of the trip non of the monkeys dared to approach our family and non were aggressive.

even when some individuals approached us for food (we were in our car) they would quickly run back into the dense forest at the sight of my grandfather.

For the rest of the trip my grandfather spoke proudly of his action and told everyone “see, I was right” and till this day I still die of laughter.

so if you get anything from this story it should be that monkeys are more scared of us than we are of them. if it comes down to it, you should probably punch one in the face.

[Nadia Whittome MP @NadiaWhittomeMP]

Margaret Atwood once said: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”

No girl should fear for her life for rejecting a man. No girl should lose her life protecting her friend.

Rest in peace Eliyanna Andam.

[sophie @netcapgirl]

leonardo dicaprio has announced he’s switching to bing

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

Have they checked the British Museum?

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

boy math is when he does the oil changes and snow shoveling and she does the cooking and laundry and he decides they have equal workloads because they both do two chores

[James Nokise @JamesNokise]

I’m not quite sure how to explain what’s happened tonight, because it’s still happening - but here goes…

At 4:40pm I jumped on a train from London to Edinburgh..

It was comfy, it was quiet

In hindsight, too good to last…

[Skyleigh Uhrich @Sky_Lee_1]

-@JohnFetterman at disabilities hearing gets emotional showing his cellphone transcription app & addressing those who mock him for his auditory processing struggles:

“How can we become more empathetic, more responsive, and more effective senators

[Nextshark @NextShark]

Jeremy Tang Diaz, 6 years-old, was critically injured and remains in a coma.

Daniel Logan allegedly broke into the family's home and hit Jeremy with a bat while he was sleeping.

Jeremy is still in a coma, according to one of his GoFundMes.

https://t.co/VT69sqHKbD

[Los Angeles Journalist 📸 @slausongirlnews]

Two Black models were found dead inside their Downtown, Los Angeles luxury apartments within three miles of each other, in one week.

The family believes these two deaths are connected and there is a predator/serial killer on the loose in Los Angeles.

[André Agoní @MrMarcus260]

I shamefully don’t know anything about Filipino history but I know they been through it cause they sing DOWN

[NBC News @NBCNews]

After footage was released of a Seattle police officer saying Jaanhavi Kandula’s life “had limited value,” those who knew her want the world to know that the opposite is true.

“She was a beautiful person, inside and outside,” her academic adviser said. https://t.co/oooNBtr200

[Howie @whal510]

This really is heartbreaking. Like I legit am so upset for him. ☹️☹️ i hope this pops up in Beyoncé’s camp somehow and even the smallest gesture could make his day. #RenaissanceWorldTour

[Sassington, M.C. @MissSassbox]

Getting a $3 million check and having no debt, being 19, no kids, living home with supportive parents?! LIVE FOR US ALL, COCO. 🔥

[Bonita 🍉 @BonitaRochelle]

My mum has rheumatoid arthritis this would be perfect for her. Easy to call it laziness when you’re able.

[Global BC @GlobalBC]

The girls left their home in North Delta together around 3 p.m. Sept. 6 dressed in jackets and pajama pants. Anyone who sees them is asked to contact Delta police.
https://t.co/d6rnTkx2Dr

[Titty Mboweni* 🇵🇸 @PearlPillay]

The government allocating resources for youth:

[Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦 @cmclymer]

Mexico is 72% Catholic, and they just decriminalized abortion nationwide.

https://t.co/kGBI1f9vGx

[Congolesa Rice @judeinlondon]

Theory: Meghan’s problems with THAT family began when she was asked if she wanted to see the queen and she replied “Beyonce?!”