sarcastic side-eye

I’m a damsel. I’m in distress. I can handle this. have a nice day! 😒

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

if you voted for trump and i see you with a margarita in your hand today you are not safe

[HAD @havehadhavehad]

idk if today's @benedettohh short is a poem or fiction or what, but it's one of my new faves

"If you go far back enough there will always be darkness. And if you go forward enough there will still be darkness. Everything in between is being recorded."
https://t.co/5CD5I5pbFl

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

make burgers come with fries again pls i beg of you why are we accepting this $7 for a side of fries im so tired

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

another year of telling myself not to cry to my boss during my performance review because it’s unprofessional and then failing 5 minutes in

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

anyway here’s a photo of my dog to defuse the tension in your timeline

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

Harry Styles and Shania Twain are the duo I never knew I needed and can no longer live without

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

pretty rude how the the things i need to do will only get done if i do them

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

👉����🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️👈🏼

[Co – Star @costarastrology]

happy March 3 to all who celebrate

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

@PlainedgeMSLMC oh hello!! so sorry you had to see this AWFUL tweet, but we have major catching up to do! ((it’s going to snow again here tonight FYI 🙃))

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

me in winter: seasonal depression isn’t real
me after one (1) day of 70° sunshine:

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

happy Dolly Parton’s birthday to those that celebrate!!

[sam @Govrnmentjudas]

House of Gucci, AHS, A Star Is Born

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

if you used to force your rollercoaster tycoon guests to puke on the ground by building extra nauseous coasters and then removing all bathrooms/trash cans congrats on being gay now

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

exposed once again

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

Me at 20: full of potential and ambition, capable of powering through anything

Me now: if I don’t change the bathroom lights to a soft blue before bed the brightness will hit me with the intensity of 1000 suns and render me completely immobile in the morning

[Cher @cher]

Ok … tired😴

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

is there really truly honestly anything that a grilled cheese with tomato soup can’t fix

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

time traveler: what year is it
me: 2021
time traveler: COOL FUTURE do you have flying cars??
me: my fortune cookie has a QR code on the back

[sarcastic side-eye @jo_anagram]

Stop fighting the legalization of marijuana and start concerning yourself with what Frito-Lay is lacing crunchy Cheetos with.

[Nick Jr. @nickjr]

So about that time Steve went off to college… #BluesClues25