Josie Halbgewachs

I’m not funny enough for this place

[Josie Halbgewachs @jo_halbie]

Why is January 300 days long.

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

Stranger: Hey where you from?

Midwesterner: Names all the cities that are geographically close to my town and say “around that area” rather than explaining where I’m actually from

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

People from the South: “High of 60 today? I’ll need my parka, gloves and thermal heater today.”

People in the Midwest when it’s below zero one day and 30 degrees the next: “honey, I’m taking the lawnmower out today.”

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

10 year challenge:

[Ben Rector @benrector]

Pumped for coffee tomorrow.

[Josie Halbgewachs @jo_halbie]

“You know we always say ‘we only have today’ but we don’t even have that for sure!All I have is yesterday!”

-In the words of my grandmother 😂

[Runza Restaurants @Runza]

RT if ranch runs through your veins

[hαylεε grαcε @Hayleegrace23]

A dose of happiness 😍

[Josie Halbgewachs @jo_halbie]

Ok, first of all, the first day of Fall is Sept. 22. Not today. Not tomorrow. So put the pumpkin & stop being a life ruiner. Summer is still here, ok?
#saynotoautumn

[Josie Halbgewachs @jo_halbie]

Current mood:
I just want to travel the world & overspend at Target & drink coffee while cuddling with puppies.

[Josie Halbgewachs @jo_halbie]

Guacamole is a gift to mankind.🥑😍

[Josie Halbgewachs @jo_halbie]

Dentist: When’s the last time you flossed?
Me:

[Josie Halbgewachs @jo_halbie]

My sister, burps & proceeds to blow it in my face.
I love siblings. 😂

[Bethany Remm @HollBethany]

Colorado always makes me feel disappointed in myself. Like how are all these people so physically fit and I’m like a dying potato.

[Josie Halbgewachs @jo_halbie]

@HollBethany Yes. Yes. Yes.

[Josie Halbgewachs @jo_halbie]

“I have cast my anchor in the port of peace, knowing that past & future are in nail-pierced hands.” ❤️
~beautiful truth & comfort from the valley of vision

[Josie Halbgewachs @jo_halbie]

Had to wait 15 minutes for a dancing, intoxicated lady to move out of the street tonight. So yeah, I remember why I don’t like Kearney during Cruise Night.

[Josie Halbgewachs @jo_halbie]

@HollBethany @benrector I’m so jealous!!

[Josie Halbgewachs @jo_halbie]

@ElyssaCummings Preach sista