Jocelyn Spellman

[^ ^ @bitesyourneck]

your misbehaving boyfriend isnt funny to me take him to the shelter and have him euthanized

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

Yup

[kat @yslnadi]

when you finally understand that it didn't work because you would have hated that life

[camille :-) @dustytit]

for 6 weeks of each year i allow myself to have love island brain (low cognitive function, irrational opinions, unbridled lust) and i think it’s really good for me. i’ll read a book or something after, idk

[Jocelyn Spellman @jocelynspellman]

Both are true.

[Kimbrrlee 🐞 @Kimbrrleeee]

Everyone: you all hate Spencer because he’s not a Democrat

Me: I have hated him since the early 2000s

[k @316Kenzie]

when i see adults get baptized im just like “damn you must be going through it”

[grovy @grovymango]

Can mamdani do a tour and be mayor of different cities

[Jill Gutowitz @jillboard]

watching new yorkers have fun with zohran, the knicks, and summer house while LA tanks our elections

[Resko★ @Bloke_Baz]

Can't believe it’s already June . Time flies when you work everyday of your fucking life

[m @pumptinis]

the biggest life decision i am facing right now is whether or not i’ll be watching the summer house reunion or the love island premiere tomorrow night

[Modihh @yogitss__]

first in my bloodline to hate men the way they should have been hated all this time.

[miia @miiagarro]

"you're so funny"

thanks i probably would've been lobotomized in 1940

[The Ginger Swindler @lilydsmith]

first he came for the diet coke and i spoke up
then he came for my SSRI and i killed myself

[l!v @bpddestroyer]

I can tell ur ass went to Jupiter to get more stupider

[死 @humanxmaybe]

i hope this email kills us both instantly

[Poncho Gutiérrez @PonchoGutz]

Perdón por mi opinón de izquierda radical extremista pero creo que no está bien matar a toda una civilización.

[Melanie D'Arrigo @DarrigoMelanie]

33,000 military veterans are currently homeless.

[Berry ⏾ @auraonx]

if astrology isn't real then why is every man born between january and december evil

[meredith @noyeahobviously]

ACAB includes paw patrol