Jordan Newton

Everton Sufferer.

[Pavel Velkovsky @Pvelkovsky]

I love that "mysterious" time skip you see in German and Japanese corporate histories...

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

It's amazing how much you can accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over.

[Harry @Owens_EFC]

telling a depressed person to go watch everton should be classed as a form of assisted suicide

[Andrew Neil @afneil]

The SNP runs into the Laffer Curve: its 48% top rate of income tax (NICs on top) results in £22m LESS in tax revenues.
Don’t they teach economics in the land of Adam Smith any more?
Or does left-wing virtue signalling — I’m ‘taxing the rich’ more than you — trump everything?

[Lancesico 🇱🇨 @Bornakang]

The strawberries in your fridge 2 days after you buy them

[The Third Kit @The_Third_Kit]

Labour Leader wearing a Blue tie because all Evertonians are all fucking weirdos with a phobia of the colour red.

[Wynner 🇩🇪🇦🇹🇪🇺 @EuroWynner]

“English football fans are arrogant”

Their biggest football song is about how they always fucking lose.

[Troll Football @TrollFootball]

2nd semi final

[Redfoxi 💙 @Redfoxi]

Christ how powerful is Camilla’s fan ! #wimbledon #Fery

[Memes vs. Football @memesvsfootball]

Football fans after Cape Verde’s elimination:

[Mike Doyle @mikedoyley]

Monday
02:00 BST

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

The extinction of the dinosaurs is technically the highest ratio of birds killed with one stone.

[Steve @oldguy_steve]

The fact that Hooters hasn't launched a home delivery service called Knockers seems like a missed business opportunity to me.

[blaire @pissshit90001]

When I mess up I just think about how someone went to work one day and did Chernobyl

[Murray Hill Guy @MurrayHillGuy1]

Millennials, it's time to choose your midife crisis

1. Date a 23 year old
2. Quit drinking and become insufferable about it
3. Double down on drinking
4. Train for a marathon nobody asked about
5. Have a panic baby (with wife you hate)
6. "We're opening the relationship" (she bangs)
7. Get divorced
8. Get diagnosed with adult ADHD/autism
9. Niche side quests like rock climbing, hyrox, gardening, handstands

[Skipster @FarRightSkip]

You were watching PawPatrol on YouTube after curfew were you not?

[C3 @C_3C_3]

The Left is pushing for identification to use the internet while pushing for no identification to vote.

Think about that.

[Marcus Walker @WalkerMarcus]

It is literally insane simultaneously to think that 16 and 17 year olds are mature enough to vote but not mature enough to look at Instagram at 8:30pm. This is comically absurd.

[Citizens of Suburbia @CitizenSuburbia]

So: a further utterly NONSENSICAL aspect of the ruling against Everton by the independent commission is that they openly admit to relying heavily on evidence from David Baldwin to establish the link between £19.5m overspend and the 4 points extra Everton gained ahead of Burnley.

1. David Baldwin, and by the IC's OWN ADMISSION, had spent 6 years being associated with Burnley.

2. His testimony was treated as that of an 'expert' despite him admitting he was using his "lived experience". Seriously?

3. The gist of Baldwin's argument was that Everton's £19.5m overspend - which was cumulative over 3 years - could you be used entirely to support the extra 4 points Everton gained over and above Burnley in the one season, 21/22. This was without him using any mathematical, statistical or probabilistic modelling - just 'lived experience'

4. Remember, we already established that the IC thinks a PSR breach can occur at anytime, 365 days a year, during a 3 year cycle - and not at the point they are actually tested. This is 'dangerous & unworkable' as Everton put it in their statement & also highly likely why they were so angry. There is no way the rules were drafted to intend this. It also means if you were already in breach of PSR but sold hotels or your women's team to cure it, you are still in breach. Clearly a nonsense, because in several instances these "cures" have been allowed - *as long as it was done by the financial year end, when PSR was being tested*. This is a key pillar of Everton's defence - Burnley were relegated before Everton's year-end and so a PSR breach had not yet occured.

5. Baldwin's testimony is used to rebuff that; he infers that sporting advantage was gained already at the start of the season because Everton did not reduce their squad/sell players/adjust their PSR position. Not true. Everton submitted an initial PSR position showing compliance - they did not set out to breach.