Joe Izzo

welcome to my thoughts. be prepared to be disappointed.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

I went to Florida and ate at Red Lobster.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

@Jaxweah Send it all to Elon. He needs it more than me.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

A bathroom at work is broke and off you flush the toilet in leaks directly into the managers office. If a manager really piss’ me off I literally piss on them.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

When I was a child I thought Father’s Day was just a day for people with dicks. Now I know it’s a day for people with huge dicks. Thank you for your service.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

Having a dick is crazy.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

@skeptic_tweeter @MarcelFromMimic @Basel_Seido Not really lol

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

Yooo the dowjones got me all fucked up today.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

Hit the gym before your kid vouches for you on the playground and you have to be stronger than some other dad.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

I got kicked out of a DnD meeting cause my charter was a baby assassin and my back story was just hunny I shrunk the kids.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

@eveforamerica If there’s a fire and you’re on the top floor. Game over.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

@TheGhettoGronk Her ancestors were awoken.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

Whenever people start talking about politics it’s all about “they, they, they.” Who the fuck is they?

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

2 yrs sober today. I quit subway 2 yrs ago and I never looked back.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

USA would want to be the first to Mars the God of war.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

I’m gonna tell my kids this was the rizzler.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

Working out is dangerous.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

nuggets are the hotdogs of chicken.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

How many child labor laws did the Jackson 5 break?

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

Hold me now. I’m at work and I’m six from the edge and I’m thinking maybe six feet ain’t so far down. Please come now. I think I’m falling. I’m holding on to all I think is safe.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

A shit ton should be an actual unit of measurement. Like no vehicles allowed weighing over 3 shit tons.

[Joe Izzo @joe_izzooo]

I swallowed a 6 milly Zyn and I got six job offers in finance. Anything is possible.