Finally, home time, a chance to end another long day. I am in position A in the lift - I am literally at the front of the doors and ready for them to open… ding… I walk out and begin to turn the corner when out of nowhere… yep you guessed it… it’s @nonstoptom
I have stewed on this for the best part of my working afternoon. And there was lots of work to be done… but the entire time I can’t shake the zinger just sitting there in my mind yelling at me “you should have bloody said this!”
Except the gold should have been the zinger that popped into my head. 10 seconds too late it was. A zinger that I’m sure would have turned his frown upside down, and perhaps more importantly stopped me from looking like a massive asshole brushing past him in the toilet airlock.
But time is of the essence. With a bladder full and face flushed with embarrassment, it suddenly hits me as I stand in the cubicle about to deposit liquid gold.
You know that look. It’s the one, with the furrowed brow and the singular raised eyebrow. And you can clearly read the expression on his face. It’s a silent but undeniable “who the hell does this bloke think he is?”
Let me regale you with a story of a missed opportunity and the universe fortuitously providing a second chance.
So, like all good stories start, it starts with a full bladder that needs to be emptied…
“Oh sorry mate” I mutter past a clearly unimpressed Gleeson. He’s given me a dirty look, worse than what he gives a contestant who attempts to burn him on any episode of #HardQuiz
Remember I’m in a position like Chargin’ Chuck from Super Mario, so when there’s an opening my momentum carries me through, and @nonstoptom is backed right up into the corner. So I glide past him just like those rhinoceroses on skateboards depicting the Melbourne trams.
But then it becomes apparent as to why there’s resistance… standing there in the toilet air lock sandwiched between the outer door and the inner door… @nonstoptom
So about me. I’m a big and stubborn fella, and I lean into the door with my shoulder, like an elephant gently pushing a tree to bend it and pick off some leaves. And great success! Entry begins to be prised open!
I’m at work and I head to the toilet…. And I begin to push on the door. It’s a solid door, but not overly heavy. Its hinges allow for more swing than Mitchell Starc with a new ball at the Gabba.
But today… today something was different… there was resistance.
Thanks to those of you asking for this. Here’s the full Drum & Bass remix of the BBC News theme. Composed by @davidlowemusic2, remixed by @crissycriss. And made with this afternoon @glastonbury in mind…