Jordan

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams

[Jordan @joedan97]

Goals

[nancy ramirez @rxxmirez_]

training a new employee like:

[Jordan @joedan97]

Nothing like an hour delay and you just wanna fly home 😩

[Dylan Park-Pettiford @dyllyp]

I wasn’t ready to laugh this hard

[Jordan @joedan97]

@CrocsClaire Here’s an easy way to do it in your head. Let’s say the bill is $10.00 you want to tip the normal 20%. So you take your decimal and move it to the left one one place. $1.00 = 10% of the total. $1.00x2=20% of the bill.

[Mandypants🖤🕷 @MandypantsD1234]

“So what is it like to own a Shiba?”

[Jordan @joedan97]

Never would I have thought to hear a lady behind me complaining about how the delicious bread sticks at @olivegarden needed to be soft and then complain about more croutons. And then deciding to order chicken alfredo with the sauce on the side. What has happened to this world??

[Jordan @joedan97]

Never would I have thought that someone would complain about @olivegarden gourmet breadsticks about them needing to be softer. Yet ask for more croutons? Then order chicken Alfredo with the Alfredo on the side... wtf happened to people

[Brenna Spencer @BrennaSpencer]

I don’t take normal college graduation photos...

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Look at her face! 😂😂😂

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Like...how?

[Stephen Racaza @stephenracaza]

Let’s settle this once and for all.

RT - Pineapple belongs on pizza
Like - Pineapple does not belong on pizza

[Because I'm a Guy @CauseWereGuys]

This dude https://t.co/GeUGj4DQQH

[Anderson @JasonMan811]

My dad is in Hawaii for travel...

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Cut my life into pieces...