Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez

'Social validation from strangers is what life's all about.' - the wisest man I've ever known

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

@IAP_101 thanks man you're as genuine as you are handsome

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

If I was a girl I would perform sexually provocative workouts at the gym daily.

[Sports Authority @SportsAuthority]

Take 20% off a single item in-store and online: http://t.co/Merr8qXT8U

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

If you can't put a genre to the song you're listening to it's probably dub step.

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

@patrickcarney Im floored by how many of America's youth have 'Justin' or 'Bieber' in their tag names, I blame the schools.

[Patrick Carney @patrickcarney]

This is justin. RT @BruiseVi0let: I bet if Justin pretended to be @patrickcarney beliebers would find it absolutely hilarious

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

Valentine's Day Eve the most desperate holiday-eve known to the western world, I think I'll be going out tonight.

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

Watching someone get rejected on Friend Zone is the best part of my day.

[Sarah Beattie @nachosarah]

if you're a bass player do you watch while everyone else in your band has sex or do you just listen from the hallway

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

James Bond: YOLO #lesserfilms

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

@MikeBFresh Something About Mary's Sister #lesserfilms

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

@MikeBFresh The Next to Last Action Hero #lesserfilms

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

@UncleJBone agreed.

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

My bully made me a better person, hell I'd shake his hand if he wasn't in prison.

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

Attractive moms have raised my expectations for women everywhere.

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

@mattwheatcroft @kevinbeckhamcb just rocked out to no cigar on my way out tonight, nbd.

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

@robdelaney or when you bite into an apple and it turns out your giving some dude a blowjob.

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

That was easy. #WhatToSayAfterSex

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

I don't feel I'm hot enough to do the really sexy ab workouts yet.

[Joel Cuozzo Gonzalez @joelcuozzo]

For the man-on-the-go who still downloads porn there's now a 128GB IPad, god bless the future.